


Meeting in the Middle

by WheresMyNaya



Category: Glee
Genre: F/F, angsty af, brittana
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:07:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 26,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23508865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WheresMyNaya/pseuds/WheresMyNaya
Summary: After suffering from a possible career-ending injury, Brittany returns to her home in Lima, Ohio where she hopes to make a successful recovery. Without the help of dancing which she's depended on all her life, Brittany finds herself feeling lost, but she'll soon see she isn't the only one who has had to return home to their roots.
Relationships: Santana Lopez/Brittany S. Pierce
Comments: 4
Kudos: 50





	1. Chapter 1

When her plane lands early on a Wednesday morning, Brittany can’t help but feel disappointed in herself. She had no one to blame but herself, it was her fault and she had to live with it. Usually trips home came with feelings of excitement, but all she feels as she stares out of the window as the plane slows to a stop is anything but excitement. She couldn’t believe she was back in the same small town she hoped she’d never have to come back to. Sure, short visits during the holidays were okay but this was different.

This wasn’t just a short visit.

Brittany rested her hand on the brace wrapped around her knee and breathed in deeply. It was sore, but that was probably due to such a cramped cabin and barely any leg space. She had an appointment already organized to get it properly checked out but that wans’t until Monday and the pain pills she had taken before she left Los Angeles were probably wearing off now. Plus the guy in front of her just had to have his seat all the way back too so that didn’t really help either. Brittany did a little stretch before pulling out her phone to switch off Airplane Mode.

Two texts from her mom came through first telling Brittany that she and her dad couldn’t wait to see her and that they’d be waiting at the gate. Brittany quickly typed back a response saying she had just landed then slipped her phone in her back pocket in time to grab her carryon bag from the overhead compartment.

/

As Brittany walks to Luggage Claim A, her attention is grabbed by the unmistakable squeal of happiness that could only come from one person in the whole world. She looks up in time to see her mom with the biggest smile on her face on her way over with arms wide, ready for a hug.

“Welcome home, hun!” Whitney exclaimed then wrapped Brittany in a tight hug.

“Thanks, mom.” Brittany sighed as she felt herself start to crumble in the embrace. She swallowed the lump in her throat that had been camping out since she began her journey home late last night, “Where’s dad?”

Whitney pulled away and squinted as she looked back at the way she came, “He was right behind me, I swear. Pierce!” Just then the luggage belt began to move and suitcases started to tumble down. Whitney patted Brittany’s shoulder and gestured to move closer to the luggage claim, “He probably got distracted by the souvenir shop, you know how much he loves those things.”

Brittany just chuckled as she kept an eye out for her suitcase, “They have the coolest stuff.”

“Brittany gets it.” Pierce stated as he poked at his wife’s side, sending her a wink, before giving Brittany a big hug, “Long time no see! You’ve gotten so tall!”

“Dad..I stopped growing a long time ago.” Brittany shook her head at her dad’s humor and smiled at her parents, “Thanks for picking me up.”

“Of course, dear.” Whitney replied with a softened smile, “We’re happy to help and we’re glad you’re back home.”

“Yeah, me too.” Brittany lied, that same feeling of disappointment creeping back again.

/

After retrieving Brittany’s luggage, Whitney and Pierce drove Brittany to the apartment they had scoped out upon Brittany’s arrival. Brittany had been hard at work before she left LA organizing a place to live when she got back to Ohio, not really wanting to go back to her parents’ house as it was already a low blow for her having to return to her hometown under the certain circumstances.

The recently remodeled apartment building was situated in the more built up part of town which somewhat reminded Brittany of where she lived in LA. Nothing in Lima could really compare to the fast pace lifestyle she had become so accustomed to, but it was still a nice try. She was close to a couple diners, a corner store, and Quinn’s café was just a couple blocks back.

“You’re #303.” Pierce said as he led the way. He dug in his pocket for the key and said to Brittany over his shoulder, “I think you’ve already got a visitor.”

As he pushed open the door, Brittany was greeted by a familiar meow.

“Tubbs!” Brittany squealed as she reached down to lift up the fluffiest cat in the Lima, “You’re so skinny, have you been dieting?”

Lord Tubbington just purred and nuzzled happily in Brittany’s arms.

“So your first appointment is on Monday,” Whitney reminded Brittany as they brought up the last of Brittany’s belongings, “I’ve put the business card on the fridge just there and you’ll have your car by then but if you’re more comfortable with your dad taking you then-“

“I should be okay.” Brittany interrupted, not wanting to be a burden on anyone or seem incapable because of the dumb brace.

Pierce just frowned and set a hand on Brittany’s shoulder, “We’re happy to help you, Britt.”

“Thanks.” Brittany answered shortly then cleared her throat as she looked around at the boxes and suitcases, “Well, I should probably get to work unpacking.”

Whitney and Pierce looked to each other then back at Brittany and nodded, offering small smiles. They each hugged and kissed their daughter before saying their goodbyes. Once they had gone, Brittany took a seat on the second-hand couch and took a deep breath, soaking in the silence. LT soon joined her and nestled into her side.

Brittany looked around her new place; cute kitchenette right when you walked in that opened into the living room, to the right led to a small balcony that looked out on to the city park, and to the left was the bathroom then Brittany’s room. It was a lovely place, tiny, but enough for Brittany and Tubbs. Plus, less space meant less to clean!

Brittany scratched behind his ear and stared out the window of her small living room, “Home sweet home, huh Tubbs?”

LT just blinked blankly at her.

Brittany just smirked and gave him a gentle pat, “Let’s unpack.”

/

It’s not until the next day after two trips to the corner store for a much needed grocery shop and basic necessities that Brittany finally gets the time to give Quinn a call. They had grown up together and remained close friends even after Brittany had moved to LA. Quinn always looked out for Brittany in high school and was a great tutor when Brittany began to struggle. Brittany was also there for Quinn, even when Beth came along during Quinn’s second year of college and the Fabrays didn’t want anything to do with her. The Pierce’s treated Quinn and Beth like family and Brittany got the sister and niece she’d always wanted.

“Brittany!” A high pitched squeak answered down the line after two rings.

Brittany couldn’t help but smile at the little blonde’s excitement, “Hey Beth, how are you?”

“I’m good, when are you comin’ to visit? I miss you, it’s been forever since I saw you.” Beth asked sounding a little breathless, no doubt running around.

“It has been a long time, huh? Don’t worry, I’ll be by soon,” Brittany answered, as she began to put away the last few bags of stuff she bought earlier, “Is your mom around?”

“Yup, I’ll go get her!”

Several muttered voices and lots of stomping later, Brittany faintly heard the voice of her best friend, “Thank you, baby. Now go get cleaned up, we’re leaving soon. Britt?”

“Hey Q,” Brittany answered, “You busy?”

“Of course not, I’ve only been waiting for your call since you’ve landed!” Quinn teased, “How are you? Settling in?”

“Yeah, you know.” Brittany sighed as she looked around the small apartment, most of the boxes had been broken down already but the place was still a mess, “I’m getting there.”

“That’s good. We’ve got to catch up soon; Beth has been so excited since I told her you were moving back.”

“Me too.” Brittany lied.

“You don’t have to lie.” Quinn laughed, always able to see right through her, “I know how much it sucks that you’ve had to come back. You loved LA.”

“Yeah, I did..”

“Well, you love us more. Anyway, how’s the knee?”

“Hurts.” Brittany frowned, looking down at the brace. She took a deep breath, felt the tears begin to well in her eyes, “I really messed up, Q.”

“Brittany..don’t-“ Suddenly Quinn’s cut off by the sound of Beth crying, “Shit. I’m coming, honey! This kid, I swear. Can I call you back?”

Brittany wipes the tears and takes a deep breath in attempt to make her voice sound even, “Yeah, of course.”

/

When Quinn does manage to call back it’s only for a couple minutes; they’re on the way to Beth’s ballet rehearsal but she does manage to set up a day for her and Brittany to catch up and that makes Brittany feel a little better.

/

When Monday rolls around, Brittany feels anxious. It’s her first appointment and she knows she’ll have to attend physical therapy, but she’s never liked going to the doctor’s. Maybe it’s the fear that she might never get to dance again or maybe she just hates the smell; either way, she feels antsy as she says her goodbyes to LT and heads for the lift.

As she’s locking the door, she hears a couple voices down the hall. She’s surprised because for the past few days she thought she was the only one who lived on her floor it had been that quiet. Brittany was just about to peek around the corner when she realized the conversation she had been overhearing was actually an argument.

“You’re never around, Dani!” The first woman snapped, “You don’t make an effort, like at all!”

“Seriously? That’s your excuse?” The second woman replies, Dani.

She’s angry, Brittany can tell by the sound of her voice, but not as angry as the other person. They sound like they’re getting closer and for some reason Brittany is frozen at her front door. She knows she’ll have to walk past them, but she doesn’t want to feel like she’s intruding on this private conversation yet she already has and now she feels awkward.

“It’s not an excuse. It’s true! Tonight was really important to me and yet again you’ve made me feel stupid for waiting around for you.” The first woman says and Brittany cringes at the mention of a word she hates, “What’s the point anymore?”

“You know my schedule is tight, I can’t just stop what I’m doing for small gigs like that.”

The woman laughs but it’s not because she finds the other funny, it’s pure sarcasm, “Wow. Sorry I’m not big and important like you.”

“Come on, that’s not what I meant.”

“So what am I supposed to do then? Just wait around until it’s convenient for you? How is that fair? This relationship is so fucking one sided and I’m sick of it!”

Brittany straightens at the word relationship and realizes that they must be dating then catches how invested she is in their conversation and shakes her head at how wrong she is for listening. She finally builds up the courage to head for the lifts, but just as she turns, she drops her keys and they noisily fall to the floor. She grits her teeth and quickly scoops them up hoping she could turn invisible, but sadly she doesn’t go unnoticed.

When Brittany stands, she finds stormy, dark brown eyes narrowed in her direction.

Granted, they’re stormy, dark brown eyes that belong to a beautiful Latina with long, dark, wavy hair swept over her shoulder. The woman’s lips are full and look super soft but she purses them at Brittany and her furrows her brows.

Brittany blinks out of staring, suddenly feeling flushed, and offers a nervous smile, “Uh..hi.”

The Latina just rolls her eyes and looks back at the blue-haired woman in front of her, “I think you should probably go home.”

Brittany takes that as her cue as well and hurries to the lift, the argument continuing behind her but at a much lower tone. Once safe behind the doors, she scolds herself for being so nosey. She couldn’t believe how long she let herself listen to some strangers’ conversation like that, but she was thankful that the Latina didn’t go off on her too.

Easily making it the highlight of the day, Brittany headed to her appointment with the image of the very angry yet very attractive woman in her mind.

/

“Well Miss Pierce, your x-rays are in and I have good news and bad news.” Dr. Andrews commented as he secured them to the board, “Good news is nothing’s broken.”

Brittany let out a sigh of relief and nodded, “That’s good.”

“It is.” Dr. Andrews replied and swiveled in his chair to look at Brittany, “Bad news is you’ve torn your meniscus pretty good.”

Brittany felt her shoulders slump, but she wasn’t really surprised. She’s been injured before, so much so that she had gotten pretty good at self diagnosing, but it’s not the first time she’s had trouble with her knee.

“You can’t see the tear on here, these were just used to rule out any breaks,” Dr. Andrews continued then looked to Brittany, “Have you had problems with this knee in the past?”

Brittany nodded, a feeling a little guilty, “A few years back I had a similar injury. It’s usually fine but sometimes it acts up if I don’t warm up really well first.”

Dr. Andrews noted that on his clipboard, “Did you get it checked out?”

“Kind of?” Brittany mumbled then shook her head, “I didn’t really have the money at the time to go to an actual doctor.”

“I see,” He said and pushed his wire-framed glasses up the bridge of his nose before offering a kind smile, “I can understand that. Well, with this being your second tear to the same knee you’re going to have to be extremely careful. We don’t want this to get worse. At this stage you won’t need surgery, but that can change depending on you and how you take care of yourself. That means no strenuous activities, no jogging, and definitely no dancing.”

“Right.” Brittany answered as she stared down at her twiddling fingers feeling like her whole world just ended, “That’ll be hard.”

“Small price to pay.” Dr. Andrews shrugged, “It could be a lot worse, but you’re very lucky it isn’t.”

“Dancing is just all I have going for me,” Brittany sighed as she shook her head, “I wasn’t good in school, Doc, dancing is it for me and if I can’t do that then what am I supposed to do? It’s all I’ve got; I don’t have a backup plan.”

“I’m sorry, Miss Pierce.” Dr. Andrews said, not really knowing what to say, then added, “Hey, this is only temporary. You’ll get to dance again and that’s something you should be happy about. It may not be as soon as you’d like, but it will happen.” Brittany looked to him and gave a thankful smile, “Maybe take this time to see what else you’re good at, huh? I’ll write up a prescription for the pain and the swelling. I’ll give you the business card of the physical therapist I recommend as well. She really is amazing and I’m not just saying that because she’s my wife.”

Brittany chuckled at that and waited as he tore off the papers she needed to take to reception, “Thanks a lot, Doc.”

“No problem.” He smiled and handed her the papers, “I’ll see you in a few weeks. Good luck, Miss Pierce!”

It was a low blow for Brittany, not being able to dance, but she knew Dr. Andrews was right when he called her lucky. She really was and deep down, underneath the guilt and disappointment of being so clumsy and complacent, Brittany knew there wasn’t anything that was going to keep her from dancing. Other than a torn meniscus, but like the doc said, that’s only temporary.

She went straight to the chemist to file her prescription since she was beginning to run low on her other pain medication. Thankfully it wasn’t too busy and she was able to be in and out in no time. With the poking and prodding done at her appointment, her knee had been pretty sore and she couldn’t wait to get home and rest.

/

When Brittany gets back to her apartment building, she had almost forgotten the embarrassing moment when she got caught listening in on her neighbor’s conversation. Lucky for her, she’s instantly reminded as the lift doors open and a familiar blue-haired woman looks up at her. The woman looks like she has been crying and Brittany offers a small smile as they pass each other. She wonders what happened and if the Latina with the sultry yet very intimidating voice is okay. Then she remembers she probably wouldn’t be so interested if she was minding her own business in the first place.

Brittany returns to her home and instantly turns on the kettle before changing out of her brace and jeans.

“Ready for some dinner, Tubbs?” Brittany calls out as she returns to the kitchen in comfy, baggy sweats and her hair up in a messy bun, “Why am I asking? Of course you are.”

She reaches in the pantry for the can and the bag of treats, but quickly notices LT is nowhere in sight. Weird considering he moves the fastest at the sound of the bag of treats, Brittany calls out for him again. Thinking he’s possibly in a deep kitty nap, she goes on to fill his food bowl anyway then makes herself a cup of tea.

She spends the night filling out career tests and scrolling through endless job ads that don’t grab her attention. She hadn’t been too great at school, if anything writing was her second favorite thing to do besides dancing but what job revolved around that? 

She doesn’t notice she’s fallen asleep until she feels a familiar warmth scoot in next to her. LT pats and prods at Brittany’s thigh until he’s comfortable and Brittany laughs at how content he looks, “And where have you been?” It’s not until a few minutes later that she realizes her reeks of smoke. “I can’t believe you.” Brittany squints at him, “I thought you quit.”

LT just purrs and nuzzles into her hand.

The next time she awakes it’s because it has started to storm and she’s left the balcony door open. She’s sleepy and a bit groggy as she limps over to the door. It’s dark aside from the street lights illuminating the sidewalks below and the slight chill in the air makes Brittany shiver a little as she edges up the screen, but something makes her pause at the handle: a voice.

_I can make you mine,_

_taste your lips of wine,_

With the steady rainfall and the gentle sound of their voice, Brittany felt so relaxed and at ease like being sung a lullaby. The words were sung with a mix of such longing and serenity, each note filled with so much emotion. Brittany leaned against the glass, afraid to make a sound and the singing to stop. She was mesmerized, as if trapped by some siren and she couldn’t turn away.

_any time, night or day_

_Only trouble is, gee wiz,_

_I'm dreamin' my life away_

A loud crack of thunder broke Brittany’s trance as lightning rippled across the sky. Brittany waited for the singing to continue, but it never did. With that, she slid the door shut and went to get ready for bed, humming the lyrics at the same slow melodious pace as the mysterious voice from the balcony.

/

Brittany plans to see Quinn and Beth early one afternoon for an ice cream date, an old tradition Quinn and Brittany carried with them through their many years of friendship. Brittany heads out and makes her way to the lift. Surprisingly she doesn’t have to wait and enters the lift then presses the ground floor but someone yells out at her.

“Hold the lift!”

Brittany quickly reaches her hand out to stop the doors from closing just in time for a familiar neighbor to squeeze through the doors.

“Thanks.” The Latina says, a little breathlessly. She’s clad in a tight, knee-length, black skirt and a white button up tucked into the hem, the sleeves rolled up to her elbows; very professional looking. Dark sunglasses sit atop her head, and a she’s trying to readjust the strap of her bag and straighten papers against her side.

“Fuck off.” The woman curses as her phone chimes multiple times and Brittany can guess that she’s off to a rough morning. A couple pens clatter to the floor but Brittany can see she doesn’t have another hand to pick them up, so she bends down instead. She offers them back to the Latina with a small smile as the woman finally gets the papers organized, “Thanks.”

“That’s okay.” Brittany replies, noting the softness of the woman’s voice. Surprisingly she has a different setting other than pissed off, who knew?

After the rustling of papers subsides, Brittany becomes hyper aware of the silence and attempts to fill it somehow, “Nice pens.” She instantly feels like kicking herself because what the hell? She can feel her cheeks pink and the tips of her ears go red. She looks for a hole to crawl into but no luck.

To her surprise, the woman makes this noise that’s a cross between a giggle and a snort and it’s the cutest thing Brittany’s ever heard.

“Thanks.” The woman says, “I design them for a living.”

Astonished, Brittany looks to her wide-eyed, “Really?”

“No.” The Latina smirks, “Not really.”

“Right.” Brittany says, hoping the woman didn’t catch on to how gullible she is.

Once again the lift goes quiet and for the first time Brittany takes note of just how slow the thing moves when she’s trapped in a confined space with an attractive woman.

Thankfully the doors open 5 seconds later and the woman quickly hurries out, but not before tossing her long waves over her shoulder, “See you later.”

Brittany just nods, too star struck to say anything in return.

/

Beth was her usual rambunctious self as she dragged Brittany to the display window and pointed out her favorite flavors. It was a perfect afternoon for ice cream and the three find an empty table outside in the sun.

Quinn tucks a napkin in Beth’s collar and looks to Brittany, “How’s the new place? I’m still waiting on my invite by the way.”

Brittany just smiled, “It’s coming together. Still working on making it feel like home, but LT has adjusted perfectly although I still haven’t figured out where he sneaks off to. Oh, and have I told you about my embarrassing encounter with one of my neighbors who happens to be absolutely gorgeous?”

Quinn raised her brows in interest.

Brittany nodded as if to confirm it, “I know, so scandalous.”

“Do tell.” Quinn urged then motioned to Beth, “Leave out the special details please, she’s still young.”

“It wasn’t like that.” Brittany laughed and went on to tell her about the run in with the Latina and her blue-haired lady friend. The story had Quinn feeling embarrassed for Brittany and she wasn’t even there, “Well hopefully it’s the last time I’ll ever see her so it’s fine.”

Quinn just shook her head, “So how’s the job hunt going?”

“Not good. I’m not really qualified in anything.” Brittany confessed, taking a swipe at her rainbow sorbet, “According to this career test I’ve taken, I should be a taxi driver.”

“What?” Quinn was shocked, “Those things aren’t accurate. Remember the one I took in high school? Apparently I’m supposed to be a guidance counselor.”

“That would be a good fit.” Brittany replied, “You love drama and people would tell you all the gossip.”

“I don’t think that’s how it works.” Quinn laughed and looked to Beth with ice cream all over her face, “Tasty?”

Beth just nodded happily.

“You could work at Lucy Q’s with me if you wanted?” Quinn suggested, “I could always use some help and with Beth starting school soon it’ll be hard to pull off the opening shift.”

“I don’t know, Q, I’m not great at making coffee..or drinking it.”

“That’s alright, I can teach you or maybe I’ll just have you waitress?” Quinn offered, “It’s not too hard and it’ll be fun for you. Short shifts so you’re not on your feet too much.”

Brittany thought about the possibilities, “I do like meeting new people.”

“So is that a yes?”

“We’ll talk about pay.” Brittany joked and reached over to shake Quinn’s hand, “You’ve got yourself a new employee.”

/

Early mornings become part of Brittany’s routine as she starts working at Lucy Q’s. She doesn’t mind too much because it’s short days and she still gets to have a life after. Why that’s important considering all she does after work is go home to her cat and watch reruns of Dancing with the Stars, she’ll never know.

Coincidentally, running into the Latina in the lift becomes a part of Brittany’s routine as well. Some days she’s a frazzled mess like the first time, others she looks as if she hadn’t slept in days, but Brittany admires that somehow the woman still manages to dress stylishly every time. Always form fitting skirts or dresses, or tight jeans and crop tops with a combination of jackets and sweaters. Brittany notices she’s almost always wearing some sort of heeled shoe, whether it be high heels or boots, there’s always that tell-tale sound of clicking anywhere she steps like she commands attention. The Latina doesn’t usually say much other than the usual pleasantries which Brittany always initiates then glues her eyes to her phone.

It’s not until one Saturday morning that Brittany’s on her way to work that she runs into the woman in the lift and gets a different response. Brittany offers her usual smile and greets her, “Good morning!”

Today the woman cringes and lowers the sunglasses over her weary eyes, “Why are you always so damn chipper?”

Brittany just shrugs, noting the woman must’ve had a late night judging by the frizzy hair and lack of makeup which she usually has applied flawlessly, and lowers her voice, “I’ve always been an early riser I guess.”

The woman scrunches her nose in disgust and leans heavily against the wall of the lift as the doors open, “Sounds exhausting.”

Once again, Brittany doesn’t get to say much as the woman saunters off without another word. She’s just a few steps in front of her, but even from this distance Brittany could see that the woman was gifted. With that ass, it was honestly perfect. Brittany found herself staring and quickly focused on checking her mailbox before she could get caught. Inside were the usual, junk mail, bills, weird subscriptions for the last tenant, and a letter that was clearly in the wrong box.

Brittany stared at the unit number and frowned, “Who confuses #303 and #305?” She just shrugged, closed her mailbox door, and slipped the letter into the right box.

/

The first time Brittany sees the Latina outside of the apartment building, she’s so surprised she snaps a crayon in half.

Brittany’s at Lucy Q’s and Beth’s by for a visit. Quinn’s cleaning up to take her home and Brittany’s kneeled next to Beth, helping her color in a butterfly when the bells near the entrance chime. To her disbelief, it’s the woman and her blue-haired lady friend.

Brittany snaps a crayon in half and Beth looks at her in shock, “Hey!”

“Sorry, Princess, I’ll tape it back!” Brittany quickly apologizes and kisses the top of her head before heading over to Quinn.

“It’s not the same!” Brittany hears Beth pout but she’s already rounding the counter.

“Sorry Britt, I’ll be out of here in a sec. I’m just looking for my keys.” Quinn begins and she shuffles through the menus on the counter, but Brittany continues to eye the couple as the pick a seat near the windows in the corner.

“She’s here.” Brittany says as if Quinn would automatically know who she was referring to.

Quinn looks up in a frantic, “That bitch from Ecolab? I swear she’s doing the most to shut me down.” Then she scans the floor; Beth, older couple near the entrance, a group of younger ladies by the window, and the Latina. Quinn smiles and continues to look for her keys, “Oh, hottie in the corner?”

“She’s my neighbor.” Brittany comments and begins to help Quinn look for her keys, kind of, “Not the blue one, the other.”

“I didn’t even notice the blue one.” Quinn teased, “You should probably see if they want any coffee. They down it like it’s water here.”

“Right.” Brittany just about built up the courage to walk over when one of the other waitresses beats her to the table, “Damnit, Tina. She ruins everything.”

Quinn finally finds her keys, “Here we go! I’m just going to check one more thing and we’ll go. Can you keep an eye on Beth?”

Brittany just nodded and walked around the counter to continue to help Beth color, somewhat crushed that Tina took her girl. Her _table_ , she meant her _table_.

“If you’re going to break more crayons, you can’t color with me.” Beth informed her as Brittany kneeled.

“I won’t break anymore.” Brittany promised, ruffling the little girl’s short hair, “Looks very pretty, you’re doing a great job.”

“Thanks, Brittany!” Beth grinned and happily scribbled across the page.

Brittany sat there for a few more minutes, switching from helping Beth color to sneaking a peek at the couple in the corner. She noted that the Latina looked a little happier than their first encounter and it didn’t seem like they were arguing which was nice. She didn’t know much about either of them, but Brittany genuinely felt content seeing them enjoying the afternoon. Well, she felt content seeing the Latina enjoy the afternoon.

“Alright Britt,” Quinn called as she rounded the corner, “We’re heading off. Ready to go, baby?”

Beth nodded and began to clean up her crayons.

“Don’t worry about locking up or anything,” Quinn reminded Brittany as she helped Beth into her jacket, “Tina and Jessie will do that, just focus on the floor.”

“No problem.” Brittany nodded and said her goodbyes to the two.

With them gone, Brittany focused on her work. Restocking behind the bar and clearing any dirty tables was easy work, but the bending down began to irritate her knee so she moved to organize the magazine and newspaper table. She was so busy straightening up that she didn’t realize someone had come up beside her.

“Nice organization skills.” The Latina commented, Brittany didn’t realize she was being funny until she looked up and saw the woman smirking.

“One of many perks.” Brittany replied casually then pointed to the magazines, “Did you need one?”

“Yeah.” The woman said and leaned across for the Entertainment magazine before looking back at Brittany, “Does this screw up your symmetry?”

“Symmetry isn’t really my thing,” Brittany answered with a shrug, “Doing things straight was never a strongpoint of mine.”

The Latina snorted as she brought her hand up to cover her mouth, hiding her smile.

Brittany just tilted her head in confusion, “What?”

“Nothing.” The woman assured her then said, “Symmetry is a bit overrated, isn’t it?”

With that, the Latina returned to her table in the corner of the room leaving Brittany to return to her work but she couldn’t help but feel a particular set of stormy, dark brown eyes belonging to a very attractive woman with long, dark, wavy hair on her moments later.

A subtle look over her shoulder only confirms it.


	2. Chapter 2

It took Brittany a week and a half before she finally dug out the business card Dr. Andrews gave her and made the call. Dr. Andrews’ wife, Shelia, her physical therapist ended up working out a schedule for Brittany’s physical therapy sessions right over the phone. Brittany could tell the woman was kind and was very good at her job, just like Dr. Andrews, but she knew the sessions would be a lot of work. They worked out that Brittany would come in for a session three times a week for the next six weeks then reevaluate when the six weeks were up.

On one particular day before a session, Brittany had been lying in bed catching up on some Netflix when LT crept up on the bed next to her.

“Hey Tubbs,” Brittany smiled and gave him a scratch behind the ear before scrunching up her nose, “You smell like smoke again, get down.” Brittany gave him a stern look and pointed to his bed, “Go stink up your own bed.”

LT let out a low purr and slowly made his way to the bed Brittany had set up near the heater, his favorite spot. Brittany had yet to figure out where he kept sneaking off to and why he always came back smelling like smoke. She thought about maybe keeping the balcony door closed while she wasn’t able to keep an eye on him, but then she’d miss the beautiful singing. Another thing she’s yet to figure out is where it comes from.

One glance at the time and Brittany realized she needed to start getting ready for her PT session. Ever since she had started working at Lucy Q’s her knee had been feeling quite sore by the end of her shift. She had been taking it easy just like the Doc said, so she didn’t worry too much and hoped that it was just typical pains from strengthening muscles. She quickly got changed into her work out gear and headed out the door.

There was no sign of the Latina as Brittany entered the lift and was even surprised that there still was no sign of her on the ground floor since for some reason that’s where they always run into each other. Shrugging it off, Brittany walked past the mailboxes attempting to remind herself to check hers once she returned.

/

As she suspected, PT was tough. The stretches weren’t foreign to Brittany, but she had been too scared to push herself ever since her doctor’s appointment. The exercises really tested her knee, so much so that she couldn’t complete the session she was that sore. Granted, Brittany gave it her all but maybe that was too much too soon.

She limped through the front entry of her apartment building, gingerly putting weight on her bad knee, as she headed for the mailboxes. Unlocking the little door, Brittany pulled out a thick stack of various envelopes and junk mail. She flicked through the stack in the lift, rolling her eyes at the fact that once again someone else’s mail had gotten mixed in with hers. Usually she would just slide it in the right box, but she was already in the lift and halfway to her floor so she decided to deliver it herself.

Checking over the address and making sure the unit number on the letter matched the silver plated number on the door, Brittany knocked three times. While she waited, she looked over the name wishing she had a cool name like theirs and not some boring typical white girl name like hers. At first there wasn’t an answer, but just as she was about to knock again the door swung open.

Shocked by who answered, Brittany was surprised her jaw didn’t drop to the floor.

“Hello?” The familiar Latina greeted, looking confused. Contrary to her usual tight fitting outfits, the woman looked comfortable in flannel shorts and a loose white t-shirt.

Brittany just stood there speechless.

“Do I know you? I feel like I’ve seen you before.” The Latina questioned, causing Brittany to jolt from her stupor.

“I moved in a few weeks ago..” Brittany replied, hoping she wasn’t sounding like a nervous mess because that’s what talking to the woman made her feel like: nervous as hell.

“Right.” Santana wasn’t convinced and looked to Brittany’s hands, “Can I help you?”

“Are you,” Brittany began then double checked the envelope, “Santana Lopez?”

The woman rolled her eyes and held out her hand, “Have they got our mail switched again?”

Brittany nodded and handed the letters to her.

“Idiots.” Santana chastised as she flicked through the stack, “Who switches 303 and 305?”

“I said the same thing,” Brittany was amazed but Santana just shook her head, “Maybe they’re dyslexic?”

“Of all the jobs you could have..” Santana began, reading the tiny letters of one envelope.

“I guess.” Brittany shrugged, shuffling her own mail in her hands, “Well, you’re-“

Suddenly she was interrupted by a familiar meow.

Brittany looked down at Santana’s feet to see LT nuzzling against Santana’s bare leg.

“Tubbs!” Brittany exclaimed and tried to quickly bend down to scoop him up, forgetting how sore her knee was. She grimaced and straightened up, looking between LT and Santana a couple times, “Why do you have my cat?!”

Santana looked down at the cat then back up at Brittany, also confused, “He’s yours?”

“Yeah, he’s mine.” Brittany assured her, growing curious, “And he’s in your house because..? The last time I checked, stealing is frowned upon.”

For the first time Santana looked taken aback. She scoffed at the accusation, “I-I didn’t _steal_ your stupid cat. He found his way in my house on his own and the last time _I_ checked, that’s breaking and entering.”

Brittany there was that word again, it brought unwanted flashbacks of when she was in school and the teacher always randomly called on her and she would never have the right answer and everyone would laugh. It happened so often, she felt like a joke. Quinn was the only one to ever stand up for her too, but she felt so dumb for needing her to do that in the first place.

Brittany’s eyes narrowed on Santana, “Don’t call him that.”

“That’s all you picked up from what I said?” Santana laughed dryly, “Unbelievable! How do you come to someone’s door and accuse them of stealing? You should be thankful I haven’t called the SPCA.”

“I also picked up on the fact that you’re a jerk,” Brittany shrugged, “But I chose not to mention that because if you don’t have something nice to say..well, you don’t say it.”

“Clearly, I’ve missed that memo then huh?” Santana replied, each word dripping in sarcasm.

“Clearly.”

Santana looked at Brittany, analyzing her, before rolling her eyes and squatting down, “Well here, take your filthy cat and keep him in your own house!” She hoisted him up and held him out to Brittany, “And put him on a diet, he is fucking huge.”

“He’s just big boned,” Brittany defended as she cradled him in her arms, “And who are you to body shame him like that, you can keep your negativity to yourself!”

Brittany huffed and stomped down the couple feet to her door as best as she could with a bad knee and found Santana poking her head out from her door way looking surprised. She struggled with opening the door as she was still holding LT, which was really taking away from her dramatic exit. Finally she managed to get the door open and looked down to see Santana still staring at her, “By the way, you’re welcome for returning your mail to you!”

With that, Brittany let the door slam behind her.

In the privacy of her own home, she finds herself feeling the need to cry but she brushes it off. She’d be silly to cry over an argument with some grumpy neighbor who didn’t know anything about her. Still, she couldn’t believe how hot-tempered the Latina was. Then again, she’s seen that temper used on the blue-haired woman and realized maybe it’s not so shocking. Sticks and stones, Brittany thought so she tries to not let it ruin the rest of her night and goes to fix LT’s dinner, choosing this time to cut back on some of the treats.

/

An hour or so later, Brittany gets a call from her mom, the kind that’s meant to be quick but lasts nearly forty-five minutes. Half way through, Brittany’s moved to the balcony. Sitting in the corner at her cheap patio set, she sips away at her glass of white wine. She talks about her PT sessions, but leaves out how hard they are on her knee, not wanting her mom to worry too much about her. She talks about work at Lucy Q’s and that she likes the change of pace. That’s kind of a lie too, because it’s not dancing and that’s where her heart really is.

She’s about midway telling her mom about her grumpy neighbor when she sees movement out the corner of her eye.

It’s Santana, leaning against the railing of her balcony, looking down at the cars that pass.

Brittany feels embarrassed for some reason and quickly says her goodbyes to her mom.

“Oh, don’t let me interrupt.” Santana insisted, still looking down over the railing, her tone much softer than it was in the hallway, “You were just getting to the good part.”

Brittany just rolled her eyes and wiggled awkwardly in her seat, “Don’t worry about any _intruders_ , LT is napping.”

“I’m sure he is.”

Brittany frowned and looked down at her glass, swirling the liquid in circles. She couldn’t understand why the woman was so…insufferable. She was quick to judge, hot-headed, defensive, and worse of all absolutely gorgeous. How could someone so beautiful be so mean?

“Is there a reason why you’re such a jerk?” Brittany questioned simply.

Santana looked stunned, twice in one night. Her eyes were wide, her lips parted but nothing came out. She looked hurt, but so was Brittany.

Brittany waited for an answer but turned away when she saw Santana didn’t have one. She could feel her staring but kept her eyes on her glass.

“I guess there’s not.”

Brittany looks over at Santana who is now wringing her hands as she leans on the railing with her forearms. It’s dark but Brittany can just barely see the little wrinkle between her brows.

“At least, none that’s your fault.” Santana adds and she’s talking so softly now that Brittany can barely hear.

Brittany wonders what she means, _none that’s your fault_ , but she doesn’t ask. She doesn’t know Santana but even she can pick up on the fact that she’s not big on the feelings talk. Brittany gets it though, not a lot of people are and it’s really hard.

“I probably could have handled that better, like I-I know I can be a bitch sometimes..” Santana begins to ramble and Brittany assumes she’s talking about the argument in the hallway, “I’m just not good at confrontation like I didn’t mean to get so defensive, but you had no right accusing me of stealing. Well how can I explain why your cat is in my house without you thinking I stole him. You don’t even know me and I don’t even like cats!”

Brittany raised her brows and sipped her wine slowly, clearly not believing her because who doesn’t like cats. She watches as Santana pushes away from the railing and starts pacing. Brittany can hear her mumbling but she can’t quite make out the words. Clearly she’s a lot more concerned than Brittany thought. Suddenly Santana just lets out an annoyed grumble and slumps down in a chair by her sliding door.

“I suck at this.”

“What?” Brittany smirks, “Apologizing?”

Santana grits her teeth then softens at Brittany’s stare. She nods and she looks kind of like a lost puppy.

Brittany just shakes her head, fighting a smile because Santana is kind of cute when she’s so caught up in her head. She downs the last of her wine and stands up, “Yeah, you kind of do.”

For the second time that night, Brittany’s the one that has the last words.

/

Brittany doesn’t see Santana for a couple days and it’s probably for the best. She’s always been pretty forgiving, but their argument still makes Brittany annoyed just thinking about it. Still, she’s not one to hold a grudge. What she’s more annoyed about though is that she really isn’t all that mad about the argument. Since the talk she had with Santana on their balconies, the Latina is all she’s been thinking about. Of course most of the thoughts are about how pretty she thinks she is and wondering how soft her lips are, but also why it’s so hard for the woman to apologize and why she had to be so cryptic. She wonders who hurt her, who made it so hard for her to do something as simple as apologize, but then again she knows lots of people who can’t admit when they’re wrong and apologize.

Still, she hopes she’ll see her around soon. Maybe then she’ll tell her that she’s not really mad about their argument but if she calls LT stupid again she won’t be so forgiving.

/

Brittany spends the rest of the week doing her usual thing; PT session, Lucy Q’s, eat, sleep, and repeat. She doesn’t realize how monotonous her routine has gotten until she’s closing up shop with Quinn and a couple other girls.

“Any plans tonight, Britt?” Quinn asks as she counts down the register.

Brittany’s wiping the display case windows but doesn’t look up, “Just the usual.”

“It’s Friday night.” Quinn points out, “You can’t just spend the night on Netflix. Let’s do something!”

“I don’t know..” Brittany shrugs, spraying the solution on the glass and going over it with a rag, “I’m not really up for anything crazy, I don’t do that anymore.”

“Neither do I!” Quinn laughs, “I’ve got a kid at home, I don’t need another.”

Brittany just chuckles and continues to focus on cleaning the glass.

Quinn just sighs and shuts the register drawer, “You’re getting boring, B.”

At that, Brittany looks up, a little offended, “I am not.”

“You are.” Quinn affirms, “You’re getting boring. Like grandma boring.”

“My grandma goes to the casino every Wednesday night and she has loads of fun.” Brittany points out, straightening up to put a hand on her hip, “So jokes on you.”

“Well sounds like she has a better social life than you,” Quinn teases then comes around the counter to take away Brittany’s rag and spray bottle, “You can’t just work your life away.”

“Sure I can.” Brittany says, “I did it in LA, I can do it here.”

“LA was different though, you were a professional dancer there. You were going out every night after practice, I saw the pictures. It looked fun. You had fun.”

Brittany began to frown as she looked down at her brace.

Quinn sighed and set a comforting hand on Brittany’s shoulder, “Look, just because you can’t dance right now doesn’t mean you can’t have fun. There are other things; you can’t feel sorry for yourself like this. It’s not good.”

“I-I’m not.” Brittany argued but even she knew it was a lie. Brittany thought about her words. She was right. She couldn’t keep doing this to herself. She hadn’t even realized she was until Quinn said something.

She looked to Quinn and smiled.

“Well, we can’t go to clubs..my doctor said no-” Brittany began but Quinn instantly squealed and wrapped her in a hug.

“This will be great; the girls have needed an excuse to go out for weeks now!” Quinn beamed and walked back around the counter to put away Brittany’s cleaning supplies, “Meet me at mine and we’ll all go together.”

Brittany just smiled as her best friend, wound up in her own excitement, zipped around the café letting the rest of the girls know the plan for later that night.

/

It was close to the time Brittany was meant to leave for Quinn’s, but she was having so much trouble picking something to wear. Quinn said they weren’t going to a club so she didn’t need to dress up too much, but that really didn’t narrow it down for Brittany.

She stared at herself in the mirror, working out different outfit combinations, but there’s just one factor that ruins everything every time.

She grimaces at the clunky brace and returns to her wardrobe, fling top after top on to her bed, searching for something she can’t put her finger on. LT growls under all the clothes and hops down to his own bed, pawing at it until it’s to his liking.

Ultimately Brittany settles on leggings with a design that she can only describe as _having lots going on_ because it takes away from the eye sore of a brace. They’re oddly cute and that’s the only reason she bought them and maybe they’re not the best thing to wear on a Friday night out, but at this point she doesn’t care and, at a glance at the time, she’s also late. She wiggles into the leggings and slides on a grey long sleeve with an image of an owl on it then slips into her studded boots. She gives one last look in the mirror, a cross between super comfy and badass. She shrugs and grabs her purse, giving LT a kiss goodbye and making him promise not to break into Santana’s house while she’s out.

/

Their other co-worker, Mercedes, ends up being the designated driver and Brittany, Quinn, and Tina all pile in as they head out. Brittany still doesn’t know where they’re going, but she doesn’t mind the anticipation. She loves surprises!

Mercedes has the best playlist going and the girls are all in high spirits as they pull up to a place called Callbacks. Brittany looks up at the neon sign, dark blue light gleaming.

“This place new?” Brittany asks as they walk up to the entry.

“Yeah, they opened about a year ago now. It’s cool.” Mercedes tells her, Brittany takes note of the line of people wrapping around the side of the building. Mercedes sees and chuckles, bumping Brittany with her elbow, “Don’t worry, I’m in good with the bouncer.”

“Is _that_ what you’re calling it.” Tina teases and Mercedes swats at her, embarrassed.

Brittany’s confused but smiles at their playful banter.

There’s a tall blonde standing at the door clad in all black. He has a mop of platinum blonde hair that Brittany can instantly point out comes from a bottle and a big mouth, like bigger than normal she thinks. He’s all no-nonsense as he looks over id’s until he spots them walking up and perks up.

His eyes land on Mercedes, twinkle even, and suddenly all the teasing makes sense.

“Hey Sam,” Mercedes greets and there’s a sweetness in her tone that makes Sam’s shoulders droop, “Busy tonight?”

He nods, “Little bit. Getting to capacity.”

“Oh okay.” Mercedes smiles and he smiles backs. It’s like they’re wrapped up in their own world but then Quinn nudges her, “So got room for us?”

“Sure! There’s still a few booths empty I think too.” Sam answers and gestures in, “Have fun.”

The girls thank him one by one as they pass through the entry. Brittany looks back just in time to see Mercedes kiss his cheek.

“They’re cute.” Brittany comments, feeling a little nostalgic. Relationships weren’t really her thing, hadn’t been for a while now. Not that she wasn’t into commitment; it was just hard to come by especially in her line of work.

“Aren’t they?” Quinn replied, “Almost sickening.”

They laughed and met Tina at the bar who was already lining up shots for them to take. They all cheersed to their first Friday out in awhile and went on to order an array of cocktails and a diet Dr. Pepper for Mercedes before finding a table.

As they waited for their drinks, Brittany took in her surroundings; warm lighting, a combination of reds and yellows, random art work hanging on the walls and different leafy potted plants sprawled about. It was like some edgy, hipster hangout she’d picture in LA and not Lima, Ohio. She saw how crowded the place was, a mix of booths and tables, sofas in the corner, all occupied by people who’s attention was captured by someone on stage. For the first time, Brittany realized there was a stage. How she missed it in the first place, she doesn’t know, but there was a live band and a short, brunette woman belting out a song she hadn’t heard of.

Her voice was beautiful and when the song ended the room erupted in applause.

“So it’s a karaoke bar?” Brittany asked Quinn as began to weave through the crowd.

“Yeah, sort of?” Quinn says, “Usually there’s just a live band, but every Friday they open up the stage to the public.”

Brittany nodded, “That’s pretty cool.”

“It is. Thankfully the owner is pretty strict on who performers,” Quinn replies, “She holds auditions so we never have to listen to people that sound like dying animals. It’s great.”

“She’s good.” Mercedes commented on the singer as they slid into their booth, “She’s always here too.”

Brittany nodded, eyes focused on the stage as the next performer was introduced. This time it was a slender guy who reminded Brittany of a porcelain doll but a lot more fashionable. The band started up and he began to sing.

“How come I don’t know any of the songs here.” Brittany whispered to Quinn.

Quinn just laughed and whispered back, “Most of it is Broadway.”

Brittany nodded in understanding.

“Not everyone sings Broadway here though,” Tina added, “This is just where all the Broadway hopes and dreams come to die.”

“Savage.” Mercedes scolded and looked to Brittany, “The first performer, Rachel, and this guy here, Kurt, they’re from Carmel High, my old high school. They were all about performing and dead set on going to New York. I guess it didn’t work out.”

Brittany frowned, feeling a little sorry for them because she knows the feeling.

“They look happy though.” Quinn added, “At least they’re still doing what they love?”

“I guess.” Tina shrugged and the four of them turned back to watch the performance.

/

After Kurt’s performance, a few others came out to perform only this time Brittany actually knew the songs. They were much livelier and the girls danced in their seats, sipping on fruity cocktails and enjoying the good buzz they each had going minus Mercedes who just egged the girls on.

Brittany was having a great time and she kept reminding Quinn how much of a good idea it was to go out. She realized after the fourth time telling her that she was probably pass the good buzz stage and the alcohol was making her a lot more friendly. They all just laughed and wiggled in their seat, clapping and cheering on every performer that came on stage.

“Now we’re going to slow it down a little for everyone, but I know you’ll be satisfied. Come on out here, girl.” the announcer said as he welcomed the next performer on stage.

The lights dimmed to a cool blue and the band struck up a slow, jazzy beat as a woman walked across to center stage. A soft white light appeared and illuminated the woman who began to sway with the beat.

At the sight, Brittany nearly spat out her drink.

_For you I was the flame_ _  
Love is a losing game  
Five story fire as you came  
Love is losing game_

_One I wished, I never played_ _  
Oh, what a mess we made  
And now the final frame  
Love is a losing game_

Brittany was instantly reminded of the voice she heard on the balcony the one night during the thunderstorm that matched the sweet, melodic tones of the sultry voice coming from the woman on stage. So smooth and with such emotion; Brittany leaned forward, once again entranced by the sultry voice.

_Self-professed profound  
Till the chips were down  
Know you're a gambling man  
Love is a losing hand_

_Though I battled blind  
Love is a fate resigned  
Memories mar my mind  
Love is a fate resigned_

Brittany watched as the woman made her feel everything she did, the quivers in her voice, the hurt, the sadness. Brittany felt it all although she didn’t think she could relate. She hadn’t ever been in a real relationship with the kind of struggles the song talked about, but the way the woman sang made Brittany believe it all.

Once the last notes faded, the room roared with applause and Brittany was broken from her trance. She was slow the join the rest as she clapped, her eyes glued to the woman as she bowed and gave a gleaming smile to her audience.

“Thank you,” She said, ducking her head to the crowd, “Thank you so much.”

The announcer strolled across the stage to join her, removing his hat and bowed, “You did the damn thing!” He wrapped an arm around the woman’s shoulders and hugged her to his side, “Didn’t she, yall? Yes she did! Give it up for, Miss Santana Lopez!”

“Now _she_ is good.” Mercedes commented, still clapping her hands.

Tina pumped her fist in the air also continuing to cheer for the woman.

“Surprised?” Quinn playfully asked, bumping Brittany’s shoulder.

All Brittany could do was bring her straw to her lips and drink.

Santana waved to the audience one last time and Brittany couldn’t take her eyes off the way she smiled. From the times she had run into the Latina, she had never seen her look so happy. That’s including with her blue haired friend, Santana never smiled like she did when she was on that stage. Santana bowed one more time and took her exit.

For the next three performances, Brittany couldn’t help but notice that no one could top Santana’s. Yes, there were upbeat songs and songs that made her dance but none that made her feel the way Santana’s song did. No one’s voice made her feel the way Santana’s did and she didn’t understand why.

With being a dancer, Brittany was around a ton of music. Jazz, hip hop, contemporary, you name it and when she choreographed it wasn’t just the beat that she focused on; it was the lyrics as well. She interpreted the words through her body, found a way to make the music come to life with the way she moved. She loved it. Listening to Santana made her feel like dancing. Not because she had rhythm and the beat was easy to groove to, but because she sang with soul and Brittany could feel it.

/

After her fourth drink, Brittany found it was time to break the seal and stumbled her way to find the bathroom. She hadn’t realized how much she had until she stood up and saw how the room swirled, but she took a deep breath and headed for the hall where Mercedes said the bathroom was. She could tell she wasn’t walking as straight as she could, but she could get away with it because she could easily blame it on the brace.

Once she found the door to the bathroom, she pushed and was met with a gust of cool air.

Brittany looked to her left to find Santana leaning against the rusty balcony railing. She now had on a dark leather jacket as she tucked her phone into her bra. Brittany could see, even if things were a little blurry and even if it was a little dark, that Santana looked like she had been crying. She could tell from the redness of Santana’s nose, which could also be because of the sudden temperature drop, but the puffiness around her dark, stormy eyes gave it away.

Brittany wanted to ask if she was okay, but her mouth had gone dry. Instead she pointed out the obvious, “This isn’t the bathroom.”

Santana chuckled weakly and reached into her jacket pocket, pulling out a pack of menthols, “Nope.”

Brittany watched as she brought the stick to her lips and cupped her hands around the tip as she flicked her lighter. Once, twice, three times.

“Piece of shit.” Santana mumbled, her lips pressed tight against the butt of the cigarette as she shook the lighter and tried again.

“Here,” Brittany insisted as she pulled the pack she had been holding for Quinn from her bag. She flicked the lighter, the flame forming instantly and brought it slowly to the tip of Santana’s cigarette. Brittany watched the glow of the flame then dragged her eyes up to meet deep, brown eyes that glistened with flecks of orange and yellow.

Brittany’s breath caught in her throat, but she swallowed dryly and licked her lips. The movement capturing Santana’s attention as she took a slow drag then pulled away.

A cloud of smoke drifted from Santana’s lips as she went to rest against the railing again, “Thanks.”

Brittany nodded and tucked away the lighter, “I see why my cat always smells like smoke.”

Santana chuckled again and Brittany couldn’t help but find it so sexy. Santana brought the cigarette back to her lips for another drag, her eyes cast up at the sky as she blew the smoke into the air.

Brittany watched as the swirls disappeared in the night then looked back to Santana. She thought about how she was on stage, the happiness, and how she looked now: lost and lonely.

“That was a beautiful song you sang.” Brittany says without really thinking.

“Thank you.” Santana replies but her eyes never leave the stars above.

Brittany nods although she can’t see. They stand that way in silence for a moment, Brittany wondering why she hasn’t left and Santana still looking everywhere else but her. She wants to say more because she who stands out on balconies alone when there’s a lively crowd inside, especially when they’re as pretty as her, especially when she can sing the way she can. There’s no reason, Brittany thinks, that Santana should be crying alone outside yet there she is doing just that.

“Where’s your friend?” Brittany finds herself asking which gains a confused look from Santana, “The blue one.”

Brittany watches as Santana bites down on her bottom lip and blinks, “I don’t know.”

She watches as she tenses her jaw and Brittany instantly feels like an idiot for mentioning her. Half of her is saying go find the bathroom now before she makes it worse and the other half says stay but she’s too drunk for these kinds of decisions.

Instead she tells Santana, “It’s not always a losing game.” Again Santana looks at her like she’s crazy, but Brittany just offers a kind smile, “You know, love. It’s not always a losing game.”

It might be corny but Brittany’s too drunk to care and Santana looks too sad for her not to be a little lame.

Santana doesn’t say anything, but there’s this look in her eye and Brittany can’t tell if she’s about to be slapped or kissed. She doesn’t know what makes her say it but she hadn’t meant to offend her or pry in her relationship. She just wanted to say something, anything and that’s what came to mind first.

Santana just stares for what felt like hours but in reality were just seconds. She looks to the sky again and blows a cloud of smoke up before saying, “Second door.”

“Sorry?” Brittany asks, now the one that’s confused.

Santana looks to her again as she crushes her cigarette against the top of the railing, “The bathroom. Wasn’t that what you were looking for?”

Brittany feels a little crushed for some reason but nods anyway.

“Yeah.” Santana adds as she zips up her jacket, “Second door on the left.”

Brittany gulps as Santana once again turns icy, but she takes the hint and leaves without another word.


	3. Chapter 3

The whole weekend goes by and Brittany’s yet to see Santana since their encounter at Callbacks. Part of her is worried about the Latina, but the other is mainly curious. Brittany’s always been curious, a real thinker as her mom liked to describe her, and Santana just feeds into that curiosity. She’s never met someone so closed off from others, so guarded, but she assumes it’s for a good reason. They mystery of Santana only makes Brittany want to figure her out.

Brittany goes about her days falling into the same routine, only this time she occasionally takes Mercedes’ or Tina’s offer of getting pizza after work. It’s nice getting to know the girls. She didn’t really have too many friends growing up, she was a little too eccentric for most, so it felt good to make new friends. It makes work a little more enjoyable, but she still finds herself jolting at the sound of the entry bells and hoping it’s Santana.

It never is and she sulks back to doing whatever she had been.

/

When she does finally see Santana again, it’s not really under the greatest circumstances.

Brittany’s just come back from a PT session and she’s completely wrecked. She can’t wait to get home, shower, and never leave her couch again. She doesn’t even care to check her mailbox as she heads straight to the lift.

But her heart skips a beat when she sees Santana by the lift furiously tapping at her phone.

Suddenly she doesn’t feel so tired and tries to keep from running over.

“Hi.” Brittany beams and Santana jolts a little, “Sorry.”

Santana looks up from her phone and smiles, “Hey.”

Brittany’s just about to ask how her day’s going when the lift doors chime.

“After you.” Santana says, gesturing for Brittany to walk in first.

Brittany smiles again, it’s embarrassing how much she does around Santana over nothing. She walks in and Santana follows after her; they both lean up against opposite sides and Santana goes right back to her phone. Brittany thinks to ask about her day now but she doesn’t want to interrupt, so she stands there trying not to feel awkward in the silence when the lift suddenly slams to a stop.

Brittany’s arms shoot up to brace herself and Santana does the same as the lights flicker and go out. Brittany hears a surprised gasp amongst the darkness and looks up as Santana’s phone clatters to the floor. Santana quickly reaches for the phone and clutches it to her chest as her other hand grips the rail. The emergency lights come on soon after and they’re barely bright enough for Brittany to see the look of complete fear on Santana’s face.

Brittany’s knee is sore from subconsciously bracing herself and she gently rubs at the brace while keeping an eye on Santana who looks like she’s about to pass out.

“You okay?” Brittany asks tentatively but that just tips Santana off the edge.

“Does it look like I’m okay? I’m trapped in this fucking death trap and we could plummet to our deaths at any second!” She snaps and Brittany would usually snap right back if it weren’t for how frightened Santana looked. She knows people can get a little dramatic when under serious stress so she doesn’t take it personally.

“Hey, you’re going to be okay.” Brittany assures her in a calm voice but Santana doesn’t really look eased.

“I don’t need this shit right now!”

“It’s fine, someone’s probably down there trying to get us out right now.” Brittany tries but Santana won’t have it.

“How are you so sure? What if there’s no one and we’re trapped here forever? Or the thing that’s keeping us suspended here just snaps? We can die at any moment!”

“We can die at any moment no matter where we are.” Brittany mentions and it doesn’t exactly make Santana feel any better. She stops and takes a different approach, “Look, I need you to relax. Everything’s going to be fine.”

“I can’t believe this.” Santana grumbles and points up at the ceiling, “Stop fucking with me already!”

Brittany thinks to just let her be as she begins ranting in Spanish and stomping around. When she slows to pacing and the heavy breathing turns into gasps, Brittany eyes her cautiously. When Santana doesn’t seem to calm down, Brittany realizes that this isn’t just a normal tantrum.

Then it clicks.

She’s having a panic attack.

“Santana?” Brittany calls softly as soon as she figures it out. She takes a hesitant step forward with her hand outreached, “Hey, it’s okay..just breathe.”

Santana’s looking at her and Brittany can see the worry in her eyes, “I-I have to get out of here. I have to get out.” She looks so helpless and so broken but Brittany just takes another step forward, inching closer and closer until she’s able to set her hand on Santana’s shoulder.

“You will. It’s going to be alright, just breathe okay?” Brittany coaxes and motions for Santana to stand still. She slides her hand from one shoulder to the other and risks hugging Santana to her side, “Take a deep breath with me.”

Santana nods and inhales, at first they’re shaky but soon they even out with the help of Brittany’s guidance. Brittany breathes in deep, keeping her eyes on Santana as she does the same, and together they exhale slowly, and then repeat. 

They stay like that for a moment, Brittany holding Santana close as the Latina calms down. She’s so caught up in making sure Santana is okay that she doesn’t even notice their sudden closeness.

When it seems as though Santana’s leveled out, she doesn’t say anything and neither does Brittany. They stand there in silence until Santana straightens up and sort of shrugs out of Brittany’s embrace.

“Well…that was embarrassing.” Santana tries to tease but Brittany continues to stare at her like she’s about to break. She stops smiling and turns serious, “I’m okay.”

Brittany nods and reaches in her bag for a water bottle then holds it out to Santana. Santana looks back and forth between her and the bottle like she doesn’t need it but Brittany just gives it a little wiggle and finally Santana accepts it with a sigh. She screws the cap open and drinks straight from the bottle as Brittany continues to watch.

“Can you stop looking at me like that?” Santana mutters and Brittany blinks.

“Like what?”

“Like it’s going to happen again.” Santana tells her as she takes a seat on the floor and pulls her bag to her side, “It’s not.”

She looks determined so Brittany just nods and joins her on the floor, “Alright.”

They sit there in silence again; Brittany playing with the edge of her tank top and Santana staring off into space. Brittany tries to think of something to say, always wanting to fill the void, but nothing comes to mind.

“I don’t do well in confined spaces.” Santana admits, her voice cutting through the silence after a few more minutes. Brittany just listens. “I hate feeling trapped. I don’t know why. I’ve always been that way, even with hide and seek when I was a kid. I couldn’t do it. It really..” She begins but struggles to say what she feels, “I-I just don’t do well with it.”

“That’s okay.” Brittany says and she genuinely means it. She looks over at the woman and smiles, “You don’t have to explain anything to me.”

“Thanks.” Santana replies and gives her a small smile back.

/

They stay stuck in the lift for nearly an hour and when the doors finally open and a firefighter is on the other side to great them they’ve never been so happy. They look to each other awkwardly as if they hadn’t just been trapped in an elevator together for almost an hour and it’s like they don’t know what to say except _have a good night_ which would be easy to do because literally anything is better than being trapped there.

They walk side by side down the hall since they live next to each other and once again Brittany wants to strike up a conversation so that what happened in the lift isn’t left like a bad taste in their mouths.

“Hey, would you mind watching LT tonight?” Brittany finds herself asking and she’s a little shocked that she’s said anything at all.

Santana looks at her like she’s crazy but laughs, “I’m not a cat sitter.”

Brittany just rolls her eyes and smirks, “I know that. I just figured that you might want some company?”

“So you suggest the cat?”

Brittany just shrugs, “He seems to like you.”

Santana’s smile falters at that as they approach their doors, she pauses and looks to Brittany with a little glimmer in her eye, “What about you?”

“Well, I have dinner with some friends tonight and I know he gets jealous when I hang out with other people.” Brittany answers simply and Santana looks a little deflated.

“Oh.”

“Yeah, I know.” Brittany agrees then reaches for her keys, “So he’ll probably visit you anyway. He gets lonely too.”

“Too?” Santana asks as she feigns offense, “Who says I’ll be lonely?”

Brittany shrugs again, “Well, if you don’t want to just lock your balcony door and he’ll get the hint.”

Santana looks at her with a half smile and Brittany can only smile back.

“We’ll see.”

/

When Brittany comes home later that night, she’s happy to find that LT is nowhere in sight. She’s glad Santana let him in; at least she hopes he’s with Santana because then that would be a problem. She changes out of her jeans and sweater and gets into her comfy sweats and t-shirt before turning on some music to do her nightly face washing routine to.

She thinks about Santana and how scared she was in the lift and how it made her feel. She wanted to protect her, to make her feel safe, but why? Maybe it’s just her compassionate side, maybe it’s because she’s truly a good person, maybe she felt bad but she thinks long and hard: would she do the same for someone else?

She doesn’t think she would and that’s what confuses her most.

She leaves the music playing and heads to the kitchen for a midnight snack; one look at the time and she smiles because it really is a midnight snack. She grabs the Oreos and pours herself a glass of milk before taking her usual spot outside on the balcony. She sees she’s not the only one out there as she finds Santana curled up in a chair on her own balcony sound asleep. She has a plaid fleece blanket haphazardly thrown over her, an empty glass and bottle of possibly red wine on the table next to her.

Brittany smiles at the sight and dunks her first Oreo. What makes her smile even more is that LT is curled up on Santana’s lap sound asleep. Brittany chuckles at the soft snores but scolds herself for making noise as Santana begins to stir. She watches as the Latina yawns and looks around in confusion. She runs her fingers through her hair and blinks sleepily and Brittany can only stare with a dumb grin on her face because how cute is she?

When Santana spots her, Brittany raises a half-eaten Oreo in greeting.

“I see you’re taking the healthy route.” Santana teases as she reaches for the wine bottle and tips the rest of its contents into her glass, her voice scratchy with sleep makes Brittany cross her legs tight.

“I could say the same for you.”

“Red wine is very healthy, it’s made from grapes isn’t?” Santana confirms before taking a sip.

“Very true.” Brittany chuckles and dunks the rest of her Oreo. They sit quietly; Santana looking out through the bars of the railing and Brittany looking at her. She watches as Santana scratches behind LT’s ear. Brittany grins, “I thought you didn’t like cats?”

“I don’t.” Santana says proudly but Brittany doesn’t believe her as she continues to pet him.

“You so do.” Brittany giggles around a mouth full of Oreo, “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.”

“You better not.”

/

The next morning Brittany catches Santana standing in front of the lift on her way to work. She’s dressed in a tight, dark blue dress and white blazer is thrown over her arm with her leather bag hanging off her shoulder. She looks great, as always, in her professional outfit with her sunglasses atop her head and Brittany feels somewhat underdressed just standing next to her.

“Good morning.” Brittany greets per usual.

Santana smiles back, tucking her phone in her bra, “Good morning.”

As the lift doors chime, Brittany notices Santana hesitates at the entry.

“Don’t worry, I used the lift last night and it worked just fine.” Brittany tells her as she walks in, trying to ease her concern.

“You got in the lift again last night? After all that?” Santana asks and her tone is a cross between disbelief and amaze.

“Yeah..” Brittany replies and turns a little sheepish as she looks down at her brace, “Stairs aren’t really my friends at the moment.”

Santana looks almost embarrassed, “Oh right.”

Brittany holds her hand out to keep the doors from closing and gestures for Santana to come in.

Santana follows, a little cautiously. They don’t speak as they get to the ground floor.

When the doors open, Brittany smiles and says, “Well, have a good day.”

“Yeah, you too.” Santana replies as Brittany heads off.

Brittany’s just barely out the lobby doors when Santana’s calling her name and doing a cute little jog after her. She turns and Santana stops in front of her, adjusting her bag on her shoulder.

“Hey I was just wondering, like if you’re not busy or anything,” Santana begins and Brittany’s already getting excited at how shy Santana’s turned, “Maybe you’d like to go out for coffee sometime, like, with me?”

Brittany pauses, letting what Santana asked soak in because she would’ve never in a million years think Santana would.

The hesitation makes Santana nervous and she quickly blurts out, “You don’t have to if you don’t want to! I just thought maybe-”

“I’d love to.” Brittany assures her and Santana instantly perks up.

“Really?”

Brittany laughs because Santana looks so surprised she said yes, “Really. One condition though.”

“Sure.”

“No coffee.” Brittany says and Santana tilts her head to the side in confusion, “I’m not really a big coffee drinker”

“Don’t you work at a café?” Santana smirks.

“Yeah, but that’s temporary.” Brittany says simply, “It’s a little cliché going out of coffee, don’t you think? Do people actually go get coffee together or is just like a thing you say but you’re really going somewhere else?”

“I-I’ve never really thought about it.” Santana stammers as she looks to the ground but then looks back up at Brittany and smiles, “Well, what do you have in mind?”

Brittany just smiles because she’s got the perfect idea, “You’ll see.”

Santana rolls her eyes playfully at that, “When’s a good time for you then?”

“Are you free later today?” Brittany asks, maybe a little too anxious to wait, “I’m working today but I get off early for my PT session. We can go after, say around 4?”

Santana looks down at her phone and scrolls before looking up again, “That works for me.”

Brittany beams and bounces a little on her toes, “Awesome.”

Santana smiles back just as big, “Awesome. Here, let me give you my number so you can tell me where to meet you.”

Brittany feels so overcome with happiness, like she’s just leveled up, but she does her best to keep her cool as she takes out her phone and makes a new contact for Santana. 

/

Brittany goes through the rest of her day in a happy daze which Quinn picks up on within the first hour she’s there.

“Someone’s in a good mood.” Quinn comments, sending her the side eye.

“Who?” Brittany asks as she smiles at her phone buzzing with another text from Santana. They had been going back for a little bit now; Santana trying to guess where they’re going and Brittany giving the wackiest hints.

Quinn only bumps her hip with Brittany’s as she passes and motions to her phone, “Who do you think?”

Brittany blushes and tries to be defensive but ends up laughing, “What?”

“Spill, tell me everything.”

“There’s not much to tell.” Brittany shrugs nonchalantly, “I’m just going out with Santana after PT.”

“That’s lots to tell!” Quinn chastises and scouts in close so that their voices are lowered, “Is it a date?”

Brittany pauses because she really doesn’t know, “She didn’t say it was?”

Quinn laughs, “Doesn’t mean it isn’t.”

“I don’t think it is.” Brittany changes her mind, “We’re friends.”

They’re interrupted as a customer comes up to pay. They make small talk and offer a take away coffee or pastry and once she’s gone they get back to the gossip.

“So what are you guys going to do?” Quinn asks then wiggles her brows suggestively.

Brittany just gasps and swats at her arm, “Not _that_! She’s a lady, she wanted to go for coffee but I said it was cliché.”

“Britt..” Quinn sighs, “You didn’t..”

“I did.”

“How forward of you.” Quinn shakes her head, “Well what have you got planned then?”

“I thought about ice cream, but it’s raining and that’s not really great ice cream weather. Plus I don’t know how well I’d do with having to watch her lick something in front of me.”

“Oh my God.” Quinn blushes and cups her hands over her ears, “Gross.”

“What? It’s a risk!” Brittany defends, “I’ll think about it more. I’ve got until 4 to figure it out.”

Quinn just smiles as she helps the next customer.

/

Brittany keeps Santana updated as she finishes up her PT session. Shelia commends her on her good work but Brittany’s already anxious to get changed back into her normal clothes and somewhat freshen up. She scolds herself for having the idea to go out with Santana right after PT knowing that it’s basically gym and she gets so sweaty and gross. Still, she does the best she can to look presentable and sprays herself with perfume without over doing it.

To Santana: _Meet on the corner of Maple and Fredricks Ave?_

To Brittany: _I’ll see you there!_

Brittany can barely contain herself as she makes her way over and when she sees Santana looking up at the sign, sunglasses covering her eyes, her steps pick up. Santana’s changed from her professional attire from when she saw her earlier and she’s a little thankful for that since she’s just in jeans and a shirt. Santana is too, dressed in ripped blue jeans, a loose white t-shirt with half its hem tucked into her waistband. She’s got on her usual black leather jacket and Brittany’s heart races at how effortlessly gorgeous she looks.

“Hey!” Brittany greets and does a little wave, “I hope you weren’t waiting long.”

“Nope, I just got here.” Santana assures her as she slides back her sunglasses to sit atop her head and points up at the sign, “Just making sure I had the right place.”

Brittany just smirks, “You do.”

Santana does that cute chuckle she’s so good at doing and reaches for the door, “Well let’s get in there then!”

/

They’re sat in one of the booths near the jukebox as they look over the menu. 60’s music plays in the background and waiters zip by on roller skates. It’s a blast from the past, literally that’s what the diner is called, but Brittany loves the old timey decorations. When she looks at Santana, clad in her white t and leather jacket, she can’t help but laugh at how well she fits in.

Santana looks up at the sounds and smiles, “What?”

Brittany just shakes her head and leans up on her elbows to look at Santana’s menu, “Which one are you going to get?”

“I can’t decide, they all sound really good.” Santana tells her and points to several ones that grabbed her attention.

“Oh, those do sound good.” Brittany nods and looks to her own menu, “They have the best milkshakes in town, like they’re all good so it’s really hard to pick.”

“Yeah, I’ve always passed this place on my way to work but I’ve never been.” Santana mumbles, too entranced in the menu to look up, “I like chocolate and caramel, but I always get that.”

“Try something different then? I usually get a different one each time, I hope to try the whole menu..evenutally.” Brittany suggests then points to an item, “Found mine!”

“Okay, okay.” Santana nods then looks to Brittany’s menu and points, “I’m stuck between these two.”

“Hmm..” Brittany ponders the choices then smiles as she points to the second option, “That one for sure!”

“I’m trusting you.” Santana winks and Brittany nearly passes out at the sight. Thankfully one of the waitresses skates to a stop in front of them and distracts her by taking their orders.

They chat about their days as they wait for their milkshakes and it’s nice. Brittany didn’t realize how easy Santana was to talk to and they flowed from topic to topic with ease, like they had been friends forever. When their shakes come they’re both amazed at how over the top they are. Brittany was aware of how extravagant they did them up but she’s still always pleasantly surprised, meanwhile Santana just eyes it up and down.

“How the hell do I eat this?”

Brittany’s already pulling off pieces of cotton candy from hers, “From top to bottom?”

Santana just shakes her head a lets out a laugh.

Their conversation slows as they dig into their monster milkshakes. It’s not until Santana’s nibbling away at a Reese cup that adorned the top of her shake that the conversation takes a more serious turn, at least that’s what Brittany thinks.

“So you’re in physical therapy.” Santana mentions and Brittany can tell she’s trying her hardest to approach the topic carefully, “Can I ask why?”

Brittany takes another sip of her milkshake then nods, “I busted my knee pretty bad during dance practice..kind of put a hold on my career for the time being.”

Santana frowns at that, “Sorry to hear that.” 

Brittany can only shrug, “I was asking for it. I had injured it before but I never got it checked out and I never really gave myself enough time to heal so here I am.”

“Still,” Santana says and begins to smirk, “So you’re a dancer?”

Brittany looks up from her milkshake and grins, “I am. I was preparing to go on tour too, like before all this happened. Ever heard of Dua Lipa?”

“Have I?” Santana deadpans, “She’s pretty popular at the moment. Wow, touring with her? That’s awesome!”

“Yeah, but I went and hurt myself so I missed out on that.” Brittany frowns and she feels herself falling into her pity pit.

“If you’re good enough for her, you’ll definitely get another shot out there.” Santana assures her then changes the topic a little, “I like music.”

“So I’ve seen,” Brittany replies, thinking about when she saw her at Callbacks, “You have an amazing voice, like really amazing.”

For maybe the first time, Brittany watches as Santana blushes and gets a little shy, “You’ve only heard me sing once.”

“I hear you sometimes on the balcony too.” Brittany tells her as she pulls another bit of cotton candy, “You’re really good.”

Santana just delves into her milkshake and Brittany can’t understand why she doesn’t just embrace her talent. She doesn’t question it though and they sit in a comfortable silence as they slurp away their milkshakes.

It’s not until Brittany gets towards the end of hers that she grows curious again.

“I’ve got a question.” Brittany says and Santana looks up with just a hint of worry in her eyes, “What’s with the sudden change of heart? We’ve barely said anything to each other besides the usual small talk in the lift and now here we are.”

Santana stay silent, swirling her straw around the glass. She takes a deep breath and looks up, “I wouldn’t call what happened in the elevator small talk.” Brittany nods solemnly. “You’re one of the few people that’s not afraid to put me in my place and I admire that.”

Brittany’s brows raise and she tries to think when she’s ever put Santana in her place.

“What you did for me in the elevator, I don’t think anyone else would’ve done that. I’m grateful. You didn’t shy away, you weren’t afraid of me.”

“I hate to be the bearer of bad news,” Brittany says around a small smile, “But you’re not very scary.”

Santana chuckles then grows solemn, “A lot of people would think otherwise.”

“Well, those people haven’t seen you cuddled up with my cat.” Brittany teases and Santana begins to smile again too. She can feel herself falling but she reminds herself that they’re just friend and straightens up, “Will your girlfriend be okay with all this? The blue one?”

Santana just laughs at the nickname, “ _Dani_ isn’t my girlfriend. She hasn’t been for awhile now.”

That piques Brittany’s interest but she manages to keep her cool.

/

The next couple of weeks go by quickly, but since she and Santana went for milkshakes, they see each other more often. Santana opens up a little more in the lifts about work, although Brittany still doesn’t know what she does for a living.

Sometimes they walk together to Lucy Q’s when Brittany’s on the mid shift and Santana needs a coffee. It’s a nice change to Brittany’s boring routine and she feels happier especially when their milkshake meets after PT become a regular thing. Santana eggs on Brittany’s quest to try everything on the menu and Santana tentatively stays safe with what she knows she likes.

Santana invites Brittany to watch her sing at Callbacks a couple times too and when Brittany tells Mercedes she’s not the only one who can get them in for free Quinn eyes her curiously. Brittany doesn’t think too much about that though, not when it’s like Santana sings directly to her like she’s the only one in the room.

It makes the butterflies in Brittany’s stomach go crazy but she doesn’t think too much about that either.

/

The obvious isn’t pointed out until one day when Quinn catches Brittany giggling at some text while they’re out for ice cream with Beth.

“What’s funny?” Beth asks, her face covered in ice cream. 

“Uh, nothing.” Brittany says and tucks her phone away, “My friend just said something.”

“ _Friend_.” Quinn mocks and Brittany eyes her with a frown.

“Yes, my friend.” Brittany repeats and looks to Beth, “How’s the ice cream, kid?”

“S’good.” Beth nods then asks, “Is your friend coming to my ballet recital?”

“Uhh..” Brittany stammers and looks to Quinn with wide eyes but the other blonde just leaves her hanging, “I’m not sure.”

“Oh.” Beth breathes out then goes back to her ice cream.

Brittany can feel Quinn’s gaze on her but she refuses to look up.

“You should ask her.” Quinn tells her, “Maybe not to the recital, but on a real date.”

“Why can’t my recital be a real date?” Beth pouts but Quinn just hushes her and looks to Brittany.

“It’s obvious you like her and she must like you too, otherwise what’s the point of you guys spending all this time together so why not?”

Brittany just groans, “Can you not meddle in my love life?”

“Hey, I’m just saying.” Quinn raises her hands in defense, “If you like her, go for it.” 

Brittany thinks about her words and weighs out the pros and cons of what could possibly go wrong if she does.

/

It’s later that night and once again LT’s nowhere in sight. Brittany figures he’s just at Santana’s and goes on to fill his bowl for when he does come back before making herself a tea. She’s stuck thinking about what Quinn said earlier about asking Santana out and wonders what could happen. She goes through the same internal battle she did on her way home but she doesn’t really come to a clear conclusion.

The kettles just beginning to boil when there’s a knock on the door.

Brittany perks up and quickly shuts it off before heading over to the door to peek through the peep hole. Surprised, it’s the woman who has been running around her mind all day.

“Hey Santana.” Brittany greets and smiles as she looks to LT who is cradled in the Latina’s arms, “Hey Tubbs.”

“I figured you might want your cat back.” Santana says as she places him down. He scurries off, no doubt in the direction of his food bowl, while Santana lingers a little.

“Thanks for that.” Brittany chuckles, loving how comfy Santana looked in her leggings and wooly sweater, “He must’ve been hungry.”

“Yeah.” Santana answers with a duck of her head then starts to back away, “Well, I’ll leave you to it.”

Suddenly something in Brittany urges her to step forward, to make a move, “Wait.”

Santana turns back and raises her brows.

Brittany’s heart is beating so hard that she wonders if Santana can see it. She’s nervous but she takes a shaky breath to calm her nerves and does what Quinn had suggested.

Sort of.

“I’m just about to start this new Melissa McCarthy movie; I hear it’s pretty funny.” Brittany says and she’s actually so proud of how calm, cool, and collected she sounds, “Do you want to come in and watch it with me?”

Santana chuckles then licks her lips, Brittany’s eyes darting straight to the movement, “Sounds tempting.”

“I have wine too.” Brittany smirks which causes Santana to chuckle again.

“Sounds very tempting.”

“Yeah?” Brittany smiles, hopeful, “So what do you say?”

Santana pauses, looking to Brittany then past her at the living room.

She gulps.

Brittany does too.

Too much time passes, Brittany thinks, or maybe she’s overreacting.

Santana’s shoulders drop a little as she exhales, running her fingers through her hair.

She’s nervous, Brittany thinks.

“Maybe next time.” Santana says and Brittany’s smile instantly falters.

She tries to play it off though, “Okay yeah, sounds good.”

Santana offers her a weak smile but her eyes are filled with so much more.

“Enjoy your movie.” She says and Brittany just nods, her heart plummeting to the pit of her stomach.

When Santana turns away, Brittany tries to remember the last time she felt this crushed.

Nothing comes to mind.


	4. Chapter 4

Brittany tries to stay positive considering the circumstances. She goes about her days like normal and tries not to linger on the fact that Santana probably doesn’t like her like that. Brittany doesn’t even really know how she feels about Santana either; she hasn’t focused all her energy on trying to figure out why it hurt so badly when Santana didn’t want to come inside. She did, however, come to the conclusion that it was because Santana wanted to be just friends. But why can’t friends watch movies and drink wine together? Friends do that.

She still sees Santana around and they make small talk in the lobby or at Lucy Q’s while Santana stops in for a coffee, but Brittany feels that little bit of tension. She hates it but she doesn’t know how to make it go away. Santana goes about her day looking completely unfazed though so either she’s really good at hiding it or she really isn’t bothered. Brittany wishes she could do the same.

Brittany doesn’t get it and no matter how many ways she tries to spin it, no matter how many excuses she comes up with only to shut down herself, she still doesn’t understand why. It really works her up and although she tries to say she isn’t constantly wondering what happened, she is and it really puts a damper on her mood.

/

She’s at Lucy Q’s on her lunch break one day when she gets a call.

It’s not who she was expecting, but she answers it anyway.

“Hey dad.”

Brittany hears the background noise and can guess that he’s using the hands free system, “ _Hey hun, can you hear me? The car is helping me but I don’t know where to talk!”_

Brittany pulls the phone away at all the yelling, “Yeah dad, I can hear you just fine. I think the speaker is in the sun visor.”

_“Huh, that’s weird._ ” He says and Brittany can hear the sound of him flipping up the sun visor no doubt, “ _Anyway, just checking in. Your mom is worried, we haven’t heard from you in awhile.”_

The first thing that comes to mind is Santana but Brittany decides that probably isn’t what he’s after, “Sorry, I’ve just been busy with work and my PT sessions.”

“ _That’s okay, I told her she needs to stop buggin’ cuz you’re all G.”_ Pierce says and Brittany feels embarrassed for him.

“Thanks dad.” Brittany manages to say as Quinn walks into the break room.

“Santana?” Quinn mouths and Brittany shakes her head.

“Dad.” Brittany mouths back and Quinn nods.

“Hey Papa Pierce!” She calls out as she grabs her water bottle from the fridge.

“ _Do I hear Quinn or is it the just the car?”_ Pierce asks.

“No that was Quinn,” Brittany chuckles, “Why would the car call you Papa Pierce?”

“ _Siri calls me Pierce Pierce, PP for short.”_

“Yeah..you should probably change that.”

“ _No, I think it sounds hip.”_ Pierce says and there’s a little more background noise, “ _Whoops, curb check!”_

Brittany just holds her head in her hand, “Maybe I should go so you can concentrate on driving?”

“ _Wait, hold on! I remember why I was calling now.”_ Pierce tells her, “ _Your mom and I were thinking about taking you out for dinner. We just want to catch up and see how things are going with you. You know how she gets when you don’t call for awhile..”_

“Right.” Brittany sighs, remembering how worried her mom gets about her, “Well how about you guys come over for dinner? I’ll cook.”

“You cook?” Quinn gasps.

“ _You cook?”_ Pierce also gasps.

Brittany just glares at Quinn and turns back to her phone, “Yes..I cook. Come by on Thursday, it’ll be cool.”

“ _Word. Sounds epic, I’ll tell your mom. See you then!”_

Brittany hangs up and looks at Quinn as her shoulders drop, “I can’t cook.”

“Then why the hell did you say that?”

“I don’t know, I panicked!” Brittany grumbles, “I don’t want them to worry about me. At least if I show them I can cook they’ll know I can take care of myself.”

“Britt, you lived in LA for two years on your own. I don’t think you have to prove anything to them.”

Brittany frowns and stares down at her brace, “That was before I had this.”

Quinn frowns too, not knowing what to say, she goes to kiss the top of her head before going back to work. 

/

When Thursday rolls around, Brittany is so caught up in trying to plan the perfect dinner that she doesn’t think too much about Santana. They’ve run into each other since then and it’s been fine, but Brittany’s found something else to focus on and it helps. She’s thankful Quinn gave her the day off because it allows her to search Pinterest like a mad woman. She scrolls and scrolls but nothing really grabs her attention.

It’s barely noon when there’s a knock on the door.

The sound startles her so much that she drops her phone like it just burnt her before heading to the door.

A little bit of her isn’t surprised when she opens it to find Santana there with LT in her arms. It feels oddly familiar but Brittany doesn’t focus too much on that.

“I have someone that belongs to you.” Santana smiles and sets LT down, watching him scurry away between Brittany’s legs.

“Thanks. He doesn’t usually get out during the day,” Brittany tells her as she tucks her hair behind her ear, “He must’ve snuck right past me. Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Santana shrugs then looks at Brittany curiously, “Are you okay? You look a little stressed.”

Brittany gulps then laughs nervously, “I’ve got dinner with my parents tonight.”

“Ohhh..”

“I told them I’d cook.” Brittany confesses, “I can’t cook.”

Santana fights a smile, “Nice one.”

Brittany fights a smile too, “Don’t judge me. I just wanted to impress them.”

“No judgment.” Santana assures her then boasts, “I’m a pretty great cook.”

“Don’t rub it in.” Brittany pouts.

Santana just laughs, “I’m not! I’m just saying.” Santana pauses and kicks at the ground a little, “I could help if you want?”

Brittany thinks of how confused Santana has made her feel over the past few days and how she doesn’t really need that mixing in with dinner, “No, that’s okay I should be fine.”

Santana doesn’t buy it and tries again, “At least let me help you pick what to make?”

“I’m okay.”

“Are you sure? I don’t mind.”Her deep brown eyes sparkle and there’s no way in hell Brittany could say no when she looks like that.

She tries hard to hold her ground but ultimately she knows how this plays out so she just sighs and goes with it. Besides, it’s just dinner, what could go wrong?

“Okay fine.”

“Great!” Santana beams then nods to the door, “Can I come in?”

Brittany blinks, a little shocked and a little confused because just a few days ago she couldn’t get Santana to watch a movie with her let alone come in and now here she is wanting to help with dinner like it’s nothing. But Brittany looks at the clock finds she really doesn’t have time to figure Santana out, not when she has a dinner to plan.

“Yeah, come on.” Brittany says and pushes the door open a little further so Santana can enter.

She makes her way to the couch where she has her notebook opened up and she picks her phone up off the floor as Santana looks around.

“Nice place,” Santana compliments as she turns to the kitchen then looks over her shoulder to Brittany, “Looks like mine.”

“Yup,” Is all Brittany says as she goes back to scrolling, “So what do you have in mind?”

“Not sure yet, let me see what you’ve got.” Santana says and Brittany can hear the fridge door open. Santana pauses, “Shit Brittany, we need to go shopping.”

Brittany looks up from her phone to see Santana investigating a jar of..something.

“What is this?” Santana questions and her nose scrunches, “Looks interesting..”

Brittany gets up to look as well, “Hmm, I don’t even remember putting that there.”

“Okay hell no,” Santana chucks it in the trash instantly, “I’m definitely helping you now.”

Brittany just laughs at her disgust, “I thought you already were?”

Santana’s still looking around Brittany’s fridge, tossing various unknown items in the trash, “Yeah, but you need more help than I thought!”

/

They head out to the shops an hour or so later after they’ve come up with a menu that Santana’s sure will please them. Brittany reminds her that they’re easily pleased so they’ll probably just be happy that nothing is burnt.

Santana assures her that nothing will be, not if she can help it.

They’re going up and down aisle after aisle as Brittany pushes the cart and follows behind Santana. They’ve written a list and Brittany calls out each item while Santana directs her where to go and picks them best kind before tossing it in the cart. Brittany’s surprised at how much fun she’s having just grocery shopping with Santana; she doesn’t even care how domestic it all feels. She usually hates grocery shopping but for some reason having Santana there makes it all better.

Brittany’s gliding down the aisle, resting all her weight on the handle as she kicks up her feet, and breezes past Santana as she scans the jars for what she needs.

Santana looks up when Brittany flies by again and fights a laugh, “Get down before you knock into something.”

“Where’s the faith?” Brittany asks as she continues down the aisle.

“I’ve got your faith.” Santana calls.

With a look over her shoulder, she finds Santana chasing after her. Brittany giggles and tries to go a little faster but then another customer turns the corner and their carts collide.

“Shit, I’m sorry!” Brittany blushes but the older woman just glares and skips the aisle instead.

Santana’s close behind her, laughing quietly, “Oh my God..”

Brittany looks over her shoulder again and feigns a pout, “You shush.”

“Awh, what’s wrong?” Santana teases, poking at Brittany’s sides so that she turns around, “Almost knock over an innocent old lady with your antics?”

Brittany swats away at her hands, still blushing, “No, no I didn’t.”

“You’re so red,” Santana points out around a smile as she continues to tease her, “It’s so cute. You’re so embarrassed.”

“Stop, you’re making it worse!” Brittany laughs but Santana just inches closer, still tickling her sides.

Brittany doesn’t realize how close they’ve gotten until her back presses against the handle of the cart. Santana’s hands rest at Brittany’s sides and suddenly the world stops. Brittany’s mouth goes dry and blue eyes lock on brown. There’s a glimmer and it makes the tiny hairs at on the back of Brittany’s neck stand. At her sides, Brittany grips the handle of the cart tight, her knuckles going white, her thumbs just barely grazing the backs of Santana’s. Her heart is racing and the butterflies in her stomach are going wild, and when Santana licks her lips, she finds herself leaning in.

_“Attention good people of Fresh Foods. Just a reminder, please do not ride the trolleys around the store as they are not toys. Anyone caught will be stopped immediately and their picture be taken for our Notice board for all to see. Thank you and enjoy the rest of your afternoon.”_

Brittany pulls away and Santana does too as they stare blankly at each other. Santana looks around shyly and runs her hand through her hair, “So what else did we need?”

Brittany is slow to pull out the list and for a moment she forgets how to read, still coming down from what happened.

Well, what almost happened.

“That was everything.”

“Right.” Santana nods, “Well, we should get going then.”

“Yep.” Is all Brittany says as she follows after Santana as they head to the registers.

/

Once they get back to Brittany’s, Santana helps unpack the bags and goes through the recipes again with Brittany. Brittany nods, but she has a hard time following when Santana starts talking measurements. She doesn’t have the courage to say she doesn’t get it when Santana asks if she’s got everything, too scarred from ex-tutors who gave up on her when she didn’t understand something after the fourth time. At least with Quinn she knew how patient she could be, but Santana’s different. She doesn’t want to show that side of her, how she can be a little slow at things sometimes, so she just smiles and tells her she’ll be fine.

Santana believes her and wishes her luck before heading back to her own house.

/

It’s a little embarrassing how quickly the recipe stumps Brittany. She tries her hardest to work out what things mean but she feels like she’s just confusing herself even more. It’s getting closer and closer to the time her parents are meant to arrive and all she’s done is preheat the oven. Finally, she relents and goes for her phone.

To Santana: _What is 1/8 of a teaspoon and do I actually need a teaspoon for it?_

Brittany already feels like an idiot as she sends the text and waits impatiently for Santana’s reply.

To Brittany: _Do you have measuring spoons? It should say the measurement on those._

Brittany frowns as she reads Santana’s response.

To Santana: _I didn’t know there were such a thing.. I have a regular spoon, what can I do with that?_

Santana texts back instantly.

To Brittany: _You can borrow mine. I’ll be over in a sex._

Brittany’s widen at the last word but another text quickly follows.

To Brittany: _*SEC* I meant sec. I hate auto-correct._

Brittany just giggles and sets her phone down, attempting to make the kitchen look like she’s been hard at work before Santana comes by.

/

Brittany finds out after two minutes of Santana lingering in the doorway that Santana’s not too easily fooled. She notices almost instantly that Brittany’s pretty far behind in cooking and cringes at how disorganized the kitchen is. Brittany would laugh and tease her for how anal she’s being if she didn’t think Santana was so cute.

“Look, Britt, you’re stressing me out a little right now.” Santana says and Brittany can’t help but smile at the nickname. Lots of friends call her Britt but it feels like a big step when Santana does for the first time.

“Sorry, I find recipes confusing.” Brittany admits as Santana begins to pace around the island counter where all the ingredients are laid out.

“I don’t care about that, that’s fine. Most of the time I don’t even follow recipes, but this!” Santana motions dramatically to the counter, “The chicken is so close to the peppers, I just can’t! And the yogurt?” She rants and quickly puts it in the fridge, “You have to keep it cold until later.”

“Sorry.” Brittany apologies again, trying to be serious but finding it hard because who stresses about chicken and veggies? But she doesn’t think about it too long because Santana begins to roll her sleeves up. Brittany rounds the counter as Santana starts to wash her hands, “Hey, what are you doing?”

“I’m going to help you cook.” Santana tells her sternly then goes to dry her hands, “If you’re going to impress your parents, you’re going to have to do it without giving them salmonella.”

“Well duh, we’re using chicken. Mom doesn’t really like fish.” Brittany says but Santana just eyes her curiously, “What?”

Santana just shakes her head, “Go wash your hands and let’s do this.”

Santana looks determined and that makes Brittany feel determined too.

/

Whitney and Pierce arrive shortly after Santana takes the chicken out from the oven. It’s golden brown and looking super delicious and as Whitney and Pierce walk around the counter the marvel at the aroma.

“This is my friend, Santana. She lives next door and she’s helping me cook dinner.” Brittany says as she stands between her mom and dad, “Santana, this is my mom, Whitney, and my dad, Pierce.”

Santana smiles politely then hurries to set the pan down before going over to shake hands, “Nice to meet you.”

“You as well.” Whitney grins then winks subtly at Brittany.

“Stop.” Brittany mouths, already feeling embarrassed. She knew having Santana over while her parents were there was a bad idea.

“She’s pretty, Britt.” Pierce says, not so subtly.

“Dad..” Brittany warns, a light flush appearing at her cheeks.

Santana just laughs and turns back to what she was doing.

“Alright, alcohol.” Brittany mumbles then says a little louder for everyone to hear, “Who wants wine?”

Brittany goes around pouring glasses for her parents before coming back in the kitchen to pour a glass for Santana. She smiles graciously and Brittany smiles back as she goes to fill her own glass.

“Go hang with your folks,” Santana tells her when Brittany starts lingering in the kitchen.

“I’m supposed to be helping you though.” She frowns but Santana just shakes her head.

“You have, besides it’s almost done. I’m just waiting on the rice now.” Santana assures her then gives her a little bump, “Go on, it’s cool.”

“Thanks.” Brittany smiles but she feels like she should do more than just smile as she walks over to the couch where her parents are.

They chat for awhile but maybe twenty minutes later Santana’s calling out that the food is ready. They all gather around the island and Brittany points out what they’ve cooked and how good everything is. Her parents smile without a doubt and when Brittany starts handing out plates, Santana finds its time to sneak out.

“Good luck with the dinner.” Santana whispers as Brittany’s parents settle at the dining table with their plates.

Brittany looks at her with a frown, “You’re not staying?”

Santana shakes her head, “I don’t want to impose.”

“Oh honey, you’re not imposing. Don’t be silly!” Whitney assures her, the girls not even realizing that she had come back to the kitchen.

“No, that’s okay. You’re here to spend time with Brittany.” Santana says and starts to head for the door but Whitney just gives her that motherly glare Brittany’s so used to seeing.

“Now you didn’t work so hard with Brittany for nothing,” Whitney tells her and gestures to the counter, “Join us, please.”

Santana looks to Brittany and Brittany smiles in hope.

“Okay, I guess I can stay for a little bit.” Santana relents and it makes Brittany feel so incredibly happy.

Once Santana joins them at the table, dinner goes on smoothly. Brittany knew it would be fine because even though her parents are a little out there and they can be kind of weird sometimes they’re always welcoming and easy to talk to. They talk about their days and how Brittany’s doing with PT and Lucy Q’s but they don’t pry too much about Santana’s life which Brittany is grateful for. She doesn’t know too much about her either but she doesn’t think at the dinner table with her family is the best time.

They’re just starting to have dessert when Pierce asks, “So how long have two been dating?”

Santana instantly chokes on her ice cream and Brittany’s falls off her spoon.

“Pierce!” Whitney scolds and smacks his shoulder. She looks to Brittany and then Santana a little worriedly, “Is she okay?”

“Uhh..” Brittany stammers and starts patting at Santana’s back, “Are you okay? I know the Heimlich..”

Santana’s fully flushed as she shakes her head, “No, no, that’s okay. No Heimlich.”

Brittany nods and glares at her dad, “We’re not dating.”

Pierce throws his hands up in defense, “My bad, my bad.”

“Unbelievable.” Whitney mumbles and smiles apologetically at the girls, “Don’t mind him.”

“Hey, you were wondering too..”

“Pierce!”

“Okay!” Pierce sighs and digs his spoon into his ice cream, “Great ice cream guys, love Ben and Jerry’s.”

/

The rest of dinner goes without a hitch and Brittany’s parents say their goodbyes and thanks for a wonderful meal. Much to Brittany’s detest, Santana hangs back to help clean. She tried her hardest to get her to go home or at least sit down and keep her company while she cleans instead but Santana wouldn’t have it. So Brittany just let her help because what the use in fighting it.

“Your parents are nice.” Santana comments as she scrubs at a plate.

“I guess.” Brittany nods, putting away the dried dishes, “They can be a little much sometimes.”

“Still,” Santana shrugs and sets the plate to the side, “They’re sweet. I wish mine were like that.”

Brittany looks to her and she can sense the sadness in her voice, “Oh?”

“They’re divorced so, you know,” Santana confirms, “It’s hard having them in the same room.”

“Really?” Brittany’s curiosity gets the better of her because she doesn’t really know much about Santana and she really wants to. So she tests her luck and asks, “How so?”

Santana pauses and Brittany thinks she’s trying to decide if she should tell her more or continue to keep her personal life under wraps. Brittany’s just about to apologize for prying when Santana takes a shaky breath.

“Have you ever heard of New Era Records?” She asks hesitantly.

Brittany nods, tilting her head curiously.

“What about Lopez Imperial?”

Brittany thinks she knows where Santana is going with this, but nods again, “Of course.”

“Well, uhm..my parents own both of those labels. My dad is based in New York with Lopez Imperial; my mom is in LA with New Era Records.”

Brittany bites her tongue, so surprised by this new information and that Santana is basically an heiress to two major record companies. So many questions run through her head, but she maintains her composure though and lets Santana continue.

“I started off working for my dad because I always wanted to go to New York after graduation which pissed my mom off because she thought I was just doing it to spite her.” Santana tells her and Brittany can see the frustration in her eyes, “They were always pinning me against one another and I hated it. I just wanted to make music, you know? No bullshit. No drama.”

“Yeah, I get you.” Brittany nods in understanding then goes to clarify, “So you’re like a professional singer?”

Santana shakes her head, “I produce.”

“Oh, that’s awesome.” Brittany’s even more impressed and begins to smile, “That explains your outfits.”

“What’s wrong with my outfits?” Santana tilts her head at her but Brittany just laughs.

“Nothing! I’m just saying you always dress so professionally.” Brittany explains, “It makes sense now. Have you produced anything I would know?”

“Maybe.” Santana answers vaguely, “I’m kind of giving it a break right now.” She sighs and Brittany takes note of every little detail, honored that Santana’s opening up, “I couldn’t handle the drama anymore and it was too much pressure, so I left and now I’m here.”

Brittany gets the feeling, of having to put your career on hold, and she can relate. She can only imagine how Santana must feel being jerked around by her parents like that though, but then she wonders, “If your dad is in New York and your mom is in LA, what brought you to Lima?”

“My abuela.” Santana answers and smiles, “She’s kind of the only one that’s been a stable person in my life.”

Brittany smiles at that too and tries to mimic the way Santana said the word, “Abuela.”

Santana hums in response, “Well, enough about me. I’ve already said too much and I don’t want to be a downer with my sob stories.”

“You aren’t, I like learning new things about you.” Brittany says as she puts away the last of the dishes and goes to change the topic, “Thanks for cleaning up and helping me cook. They really did love everything.”

“You’re welcome.” Santana grins as she dries her hands.

“You can come over for the next family dinner,” Brittany offers around a smile, “I’m sure they prefer your cooking over mine anyway.”

“It’ll be a team effort.” Santana ducks her head shyly and they kind of lull in silence as they finish up the last of the cleaning, “Well, I should get home now. It’s pretty late.”

Brittany notes the time and nods, “Yeah okay.” She walks over to the door and opens it for Santana, “I had fun cooking with you.”

Santana lingers in the doorway and smiles up at Brittany, her eyes sparkling, “Me too.”

“Awesome.” Brittany says and that familiar sweaty, heart pumping feeling is back. She doesn’t know what to do but Santana’s standing so close and she looks so pretty and she’s been so great.

“Good night, Britt.” Santana mumbles and she’s a little breathless as she backs away.

Brittany lets out a breath she had been holding, “Good night.”

She closes the door and just stands there wondering what the hell. She should’ve just done it. There’s been too many times now, too many times she’s let her get away. When is it going to stop? Santana makes her feel too much, makes those butterflies in her stomach too antsy, and she’s too curious to let it pass. She needs to know what Santana’s lips feel like on hers, if they’re as soft as she thinks they are, and she needs to know tonight!

Brittany’s pumped up on pure excitement and anticipation; she doesn’t even care if this all goes extremely bad. She has to know, she has to.

So she swings the door open, ready to rush to Santana’s door, but she’s too late.

Santana’s there in front of her like she never even moved.

Brittany looks down at her but she doesn’t stop to take it all in, she doesn’t hesitate because she’s done that way too much already.

So she leans in.

When Santana closes the distance, she knows she didn’t make a mistake.

Their mouths collide and Brittany’s heart just about bursts at the contact.

It’s everything and nothing she’s expected and when she brings her hands up to cradle Santana’s warm cheeks, she doesn’t think it could get any better. She reminds herself to breathe because she already feeling so lightheaded.

But then Santana tugs a little on her bottom lip and dives back in and Brittany’s heart soars.

She was so wrong; it could get so much better.

So she lets Santana kiss her back, but when she goes back in she realizes Santana’s pulling away. Brittany follows after her, her lips already missing the contact of Santana’s but she’s getting further and further away.

“W-wait, wait.” Santana mumbles and her voice is thick and husky. She has a dazed look in her eyes but she continues to pull away, pushing Brittany’s hands away too. Brittany’s confused and a little dizzy from their kiss, but Santana just takes a step back until all contact is lost, “This is a bad idea.”

“What?” Brittany frowns and blinks slowly. She has so many more questions, but she’s still reeling from the kiss.

Santana looks like she is too but she shakes her head and backs away, “I’m sorry.”

She turns away and again, Brittany’s left standing there wondering what happened. Only this time, she’s left with the taste of Santana’s lips on hers. 


	5. Chapter 5

For the next 24 hours, Brittany struggles to understand what went wrong. She goes through explanation after explanation but nothing makes sense. She goes through the should’ve, could’ve, would’ves, but it doesn’t make a difference because what she comes to realize is that Santana isn’t into her.

It’s apparent now and Brittany feels like such an idiot for letting it get this far. She read the signs wrong, she’s read them wrong this whole time, and she crossed the line last night when she kissed Santana.

Why else would it explain why the woman ran off in such a hurry?

/

It only makes things worse as the days go by and Santana’s nowhere in sight. She’s not in the lobby, she’s not in the lift, she’s not at Lucy Q’s.

Even LT gets shut out.

After the fourth day, Brittany begins to feel like Santana’s disappearance isn’t just a coincidence.

Maybe it’s deliberate.

Maybe Brittany’s being ignored.

She finds herself getting so worked up in her thoughts and worries that she finally has enough. She’s over trying to figure Santana out on her own; she’s over trying to fill in the blanks that Santana leaves behind. She wasn’t alone in wanting that kiss, because Santana kissed her back. Right? It wasn’t a figment of her imagination, it happened, and she needed to know Santana’s feelings. She can’t string her along like this, making her guess. She needed to know where she stood and if she didn’t feel the way Brittany did then she needed to speak up and say so.

If she cares about their friendship, it’s the lease she could do.

/

Quinn begins to notice Brittany’s decline in mood and when they talk about what happened, Brittany feels even more confused as she says her story aloud. She expresses her worries and concerns to Quinn but that only fires up her best friend because to Quinn Santana is an ass for treating her like this.

She goes on to pinpoint every idiotic thing Santana’s done, but Brittany doesn’t get on board with that.

She can’t because those bad things don’t nearly amount to the good. Santana can’t be defined by this one time, not matter how hurt Brittany is by it. There’s more to her than this.

“She’s so inconsiderate to your feelings,” Quinn huffs, working herself up even more, “You don’t need that in your life, Britt, if she doesn’t respect you now, will she ever? How can she play with your feelings like this? She’s so selfish!”

Brittany could feel herself getting riled up the more Quinn talked until she finally had enough. 

“Look, I appreciate you sticking up for me and everything but you’re wrong about her.” Brittany states with little room to argue.

Quinn eyed her curiously but stayed quiet.

Brittany took a calming breath and spoke softer, “Everyone thinks she’s a bad person but she’s not.”

Quinn remained quiet for a moment then sighed, “I’m sorry, Britt.”

When Quinn apologizes, Brittany is thankful. She wasn’t there to be yet another person who speaks badly of the Latina because she knows she’s just misunderstood.

At least that’s what she’s telling herself.

“It doesn’t seem like you understand her either.” Quinn points out and she’s not wrong.

There’s so little she knows about Santana, but she feels like she’s slowly breaking down her walls. She doesn’t know why, but she thinks Santana is worth the wait.

She wants to understand her and that might be what separates her from everyone else. She’s willing to be patient.

“So?” Brittany finally shrugs, “I don’t know all of her yet, but I’m not going to judge her or label her as this or that. I’m going to keep trying. I’ll figure her out eventually.”

“She has to let you though.” Quinn said, “What if she doesn’t want that?”

Brittany nods quietly because she doesn’t know what to say to that. It’s true, all of this means nothing if Santana doesn’t work with her. Santana won’t let you in unless she wants you to be let in, Brittany knows that much already.

“What if I’m right where she wants me then?” Brittany mumbles, deep in thought.

Quinn just shrugs, “What if..”

It only confuses Brittany even more.

/

Another day goes by and Santana’s still nowhere to be found. Brittany thinks maybe she has to be the bigger person here and approach her first. If she’s ever going to get closure, she has to be the first one to make a move.

When Brittany goes next door and there’s no answer, she isn’t really shocked. All her texts go unanswered as well. She knows she’s blatantly being ignored and if it wasn’t making her angry before, it is now.

It’s not fair that Santana can walk in and out of Brittany’s life whenever she wants and maybe she’s been over thinking things but she feels so much and for Santana to tell her that those feelings are wrong, or that they’re a _bad idea_ isn’t fair.

Who is Santana to tell her how to feel?

What to feel?

Maybe it’s Dani? Maybe Santana still has feelings for her or something?

Brittany continues to wonder and Santana continues to be a mystery.

/

Brittany’s back to ranting to Quinn later that day but this time Quinn just sits and lets her unload. She nods when she needs to and listens quietly. When Brittany’s finally out of breath and slumps back with her head hung low, Quinn leans forward.

“Maybe you’re in love with her?” She suggests simply, “Maybe that’s why you’re so confused by these feelings? Maybe it’s because you’re in love with her?”

Brittany just shakes her head, “No, that’s definitely not it. It can’t be, we hardly know each other.”

“Yet you’ve been talking about her nonstop for how long?”

Brittany pauses and thinks about that. Just because you talk about someone all the time and they’re always on your mind doesn’t mean you’re in love with them.

“That doesn’t mean anything.” Brittany manages to argue.

Quinn smiles and sits back with her hands up in defense, “Okay, just a suggestion.”

/

On the fifth day, the worse finally comes to worst.

Brittany’s at Lucy Q’s and it’s relatively busy for a Tuesday morning. Tina is at the host desk and Jessie is behind the bar on the coffee machine while Mercedes, Brittany, and Quinn split the floor and wait tables. Nearly every table is occupied, even those outside, which is awesome for business but a little rough on Brittany’s knee. Quinn checks on her every two seconds it seems but Brittany pushes through because they can’t afford for her to be slack. So she zips around and takes good care of her tables and ignores the pain a little longer.

When the rush begins to die down after two hours of nonstop table turning, the girls finally feel like they can breathe a little. There are still a lot of customers to tend to but at least there isn’t a line wrapped around the building anymore.

Brittany’s behind the bar taking a quick sip of water when Tina comes over and let’s her know there’s a new table in her section outside.

Brittany nods and heads out.

When she sees that the new table is Santana, she can’t tell if she’s relieved or rather walk back inside. Maybe it’s a cross between excitement and annoyance with a side of anger, but she plasters a smile on her face because other customers are looking. 

She grabs a pitcher of cold water off the waiter station and walks over.

“Hey Britt.” Santana says softly as Brittany pours water into her glass.

Brittany barely mumbles a greeting back, but she can’t fight how her heart beat quickens at the sound of Santana’s voice after so many days without. She’s spent the past five days wanting to talk to Santana but now that she’s there in front of her with a certain sadness about her and she’s making the butterflies in Brittany’s stomach go crazy, she wants nothing to do with her. She’s angry and hurt but at the same time she misses talking with Santana but she can’t let that distract her from the fact that she’s still mad.

Brittany holds her ground and cuts to the chase, asking, “Can I start you off with a coffee or a tea?”

“I tried calling you earlier.” Santana says instead of answer, “You didn’t pick up.” 

“Clearly, I’m working.” Brittany bites, refusing to make eye contact as she focuses hard on her notepad. One look into Santana’s eyes and she’d be done for.

“Look, I know you’re pissed but can you please just hear me out?”

Brittany looks at her and she almost gives in at the pleading look in her eye, but she can’t let her off the hook that easy. She’s put her through hell this week and it’s not fair.

“So would you like something to drink or is water okay?”

“Right..okay.” Santana nods and looks down at her menu sadly, “Could I have a strong cappuccino, please?”

“Sure.” Brittany scribbles and walks off without another word.

She’s about to walk inside to put the order through but her feelings get the best of her and she finds herself stomping back over to give Santana a piece of her mind. She shoves at a chair that’s been left out and the scraping noise makes Santana look up.

All the thinking and worrying Brittany’s been doing for the past few days quickly rushes back and floods her brain. She’s done with giving Santana the benefit of the doubt, she wants answers and that starts now.

“Actually, you know what?” Brittany begins and Santana straightens up at the fire in Brittany’s eyes, “You have some nerve coming here after everything you’ve put me through these past five days.”

“Brittany-“ Santana tries, but Brittany’s too worked up to let her interrupt.

“No. You can’t just pop up, being all beautiful and nonchalant, and expect me not to be angry.” Brittany argues and the words just pour out of her without filter, she’s not even thinking of what she’s saying anymore, “And you can’t just kiss me like that and walk away. You can’t make me feel things for you then just leave. I-I thought we had something..”

“Feel things?” Santana blinks cutely, but that just frustrates Brittany even more.

“That’s not the point!” Brittany huffs, “My point is where have you been, Santana?”

“Please, Britt..” Santana begs, her eyes darting around to customers that have begun to stare, “I want to tell you, but this isn’t the place.”

Brittany pauses and she looks to where Santana is and notes the customers as well. She feels bad for making a scene, especially since this is Quinn’s café, but she doesn’t feel bad for calling Santana out. It’s about time she let her know how she feels and she’s tired of bottling it up, but someone coughs in the background, maybe a customer, it may be Tina, and she realizes Santana’s right. This really isn’t the place for this conversation.

“Well, you let me know where that magical place is or else I’m done.” Brittany tells her, much quieter this time but her frustration is apparent.

She doesn’t wait for Santana to answer and swiftly turns away. Tina’s looking at her cautiously and all Brittany wants to do is tell her off too for not letting her know the new table was Santana but then her foot catches on something hard. Maybe it’s a chair leg, maybe a crack in the sidewalk, maybe it’s karma, but all she sees next is concrete. Her arms flail out to brace herself for the fall, but they aren’t what hit the ground first.

The sound of a crunch rings in her ears as her knee hits the ground hard. It’s like all the breath in her lunges to her throat and when she collapses to the floor it drops low in her gut. Tears instantly fill her eyes and she can hear chairs scraping and guests rushing to her. She can hear Santana calling out her name above all of them but Brittany doesn’t look. She’s in so much pain and she squeezes her eyes shut as people crowd her. It’s a mix of voices and ringing in her ears but she can hear Quinn’s voice above them all now too.

When Quinn says not to worry because she’s calling an ambulance, Brittany can do anything but worry.

Suddenly all the anger and frustration built up around Santana leaves her because it pales in comparison to what she’s just done to herself, to her career.

Everything’s ruined now and it’s because of her, because of her clumsiness and her stupidity.

Brittany fades in and out of consciousness because the pain is so severe, but she’s somewhat awake as she’s loaded into the back of the ambulance. Quinn’s right there next to her, holding her hand and she can just barely see Santana before the doors close in front of her.

“You’ll be okay, Britt, you’ll be okay.” Quinn repeats like a mantra but it sounds like it’s more for her than it is for Brittany because Brittany knows already that it’s a lie.

She’s not going to be okay because her knee is fucked now.

Completely fucked and if her knee is completely fucked then so is her career. She will never dance again and the thought of that makes her sobs uncontrollably until she passes out again.

\

She doesn’t know how much time has passed, but when she comes to she’s lying on a comfy bed in a white room and she feels really, really good. She isn’t in her uniform anymore; it’s now replaced with a papery hospital gown. She attempts to look around but room spins a little and she feels like she’s floating.

“Honey, she’s awake.” Pierce says as he leans over Brittany, blocking her vision.

“Oh God, Brittany!” Whitney squeals and rushes to Brittany’s side. The sound makes Brittany squint, “How are you, sweetie? In any pain?”

Brittany shakes her head, a dopy grin on her face, “I can see my house from here.”

“That’s the good stuff.” Pierce nods and Whitney just rolls her eyes, “What?”

Brittany blinks again, the blurriness slowly subsiding. She tries to sit up but her parents fuss over her to keep still. Pierce sits on one side of the bed and Whitney sits on the other, their shoulders almost touching. She’s confused, she just wants to stretch because she feels a little stiff, but then she sees her leg between the gap.

“What happened?” Brittany asks and she’s already afraid of the answer.

Whitney looks to Pierce and Pierce nods solemnly.

“Well honey..” Whitney begins, setting a hand on Brittany’s, “When you fell and well…you’ve fractured your patella.”

Tears bead at the corners of her eyes and her bottom lip trembles. She can’t believe this happened, she can’t believe she hadn’t been more careful.

“Oh sweetie,” Whitney coos and leans in to wipe Brittany’s tears.

Brittany tilts her head out of reach, “Do I need surgery?”

Pierce and Whitney look to each other somberly then back to Brittany. Whitney nods hesitantly, “You will. We were told it needs to be done soon so we’re waiting on an operating room now.”

Brittany shakes her head, tears streaming freely, but she bits her quivering lip and stares out the window, “I’m so stupid.

“Britt, no. You know better than to use that word around us.” Pierce warns as he places a hand on hers, “You’ve fallen before, you’ll get back up.”

Brittany just shakes her head again, not wanting to listen and not wanting to talk. Her parents watch but know when to take a hint so they whisper how much they love her and that they’ll check on her closer to her operation time.

When they leave, Brittany revels in the silence; listening to the various noises the machines around her make and watching people pass her window. She pictures her life without dancing and how she’s cope so far without it, but that only makes her start crying again.

She’s devastated and she honestly didn’t think she could ever feel so miserable.

She cries herself to sleep shortly after.


	6. Chapter 6

When Brittany wakes again it’s to be checked over by the nurse and to be informed that it’s not much longer now until her surgery. Brittany’s a little groggy, but she nods in understanding. On the little table next to her is a red Jell-o cup and a plastic spoon; she looks around wondering where it came from but she’s alone. She picks it up and turns it in her fingers, looking it over before she decides it’s now hers.

She’s three scoops in when she sees Quinn walk pass the window. She watches as she stops and starts talking to someone sitting down, Brittany thinks maybe Beth, but then Quinn glances at the window and finds Brittany staring back. She blinks and says one last thing to whoever she’s talking to before entering the room.

“Well, look who’s finally awake.” Quinn says through a smile that doesn’t quite reach her cheeks. She settles in next to Brittany on the stool at her bedside and nods to the Jell-o cup, “That was supposed to be _after_ your surgery.”

Brittany stops mid bite and looks down at the nearly empty cup, “I got hungry.”

Quinn nods and leans on the bed on her elbows, “You really fucking scared me, Britt.”

“Yeah..” Brittany sighs as she sets down the empty cup on the side table. She looks to her leg wrapped in bandages then back to Quinn, “I really did it this time.”

“You’ll be okay.” Quinn assures her, “You’re tough.”

“I guess.” Brittany mumbles and lays back against her pillows, “I think I’m tired again.”

“Okay.” Quinn says and stands up, fluffing Brittany’s pillows before taking the trash from the table, “You nap. I’m just outside if you need me.”

“Okay.” Brittany replies and turns her head away from the window.

For the first time since getting to the hospital, she thinks about Santana. She wonders where she is and if she’s worried or if this is a perfect time to run off and never see her again.

She falls asleep again to the thoughts of Santana.

/

She doesn’t think she’s been asleep for long, maybe she still is, but she stirs to the touch of cold fingers brushing hair from her face. She thinks it could be Quinn since she just spoke to her what felt like a few minutes ago, but for some reason she has a feeling it isn’t Quinn. She blinks, trying to wake herself up, but she’s so tired, it doesn’t really do much. 

When she hears melodic humming, she knows it’s definitely not Quinn. She tries hard to make out the words, but it’s something she’s never heard before.

Maybe she’s dreaming, she thinks, because even with her eyes closed she can tell that voice from anyone else’s. It’s comforting and she finds herself relaxing further in her pillows. If she is dreaming, she hopes she never wakes up. So she lays still and lets the cold fingers graze her hairline and move to her cheeks. She drifts back to sleep as the humming lulls her deeper and deeper into her slumber.

/

The next time she awakes, she’s being transported to the operation room. She’s being guided through the hall and the bright florescent lights make her squint. 

Her parents are walking along next to her bed and they ask her if she’s okay and that it’s time for her surgery and they remind her everything is going to be okay. In all honesty, Brittany’s scared and the nerves make her feel a little nauseous. She keeps on her brave face for them though, even if a single tear escapes. Several others flank her bed along with her parents, but none look familiar. Quinn is nowhere in sight and neither is Santana, but Brittany thinks the latter might’ve never come.

It doesn’t really surprise if Santana hasn’t because why would she? She doesn’t owe her anything, she doesn’t need to wait by her hospital bed. It’s not like they’re dating, it’s not like Santana cares.

At a certain point closer to the operating rooms, Whitney and Pierce are no longer able to be with Brittany. Brittany can see the worry in their eyes as they kiss her and tell her she’ll be fine. They have to be quick as the nurses tell them that they don’t have much time so they rush in a few more words of wisdom before turning away.

In their fleeting goodbyes, Brittany tilts her head up to watch them leave but as the nurses begin to wheel her away, she swears she can see a familiar Latina waiting in the wings. Then again, it could just be hallucinations.

She thought she was nervous before but when it’s just her alone with the nurses and they begin to prep her for surgery she becomes acutely aware of how scared she really is. She’s never undergone a major surgery like this where she has to be put to sleep and she’s so freaked out about the possibility of going under and never waking up. She takes deep breaths in hopes of steadying her nerves and surprisingly it helps a little.

It’s not long before she begins to feel drowsy after they’ve administered the anesthetic and she thinks she won’t ever need to sleep again after this because she’s been napping so much since she’s been there.

/

A couple hours must pass when Brittany awakes, because she’s back in her original room. She’s still groggy as she blinks a little and looks around the room. It feels almost like Déjà vu and when Brittany’s parents spot her coming to through the window, they quickly burst in.

“Hey sweetie, how you feeling?” Whitney asks softly, brushing hair from Brittany’s eyes, as she sits down on the bed and Pierce takes the spot opposite her.

Brittany looks down and sees a neon green cast wrapped around her leg, starting from just above her ankle to mid thigh. Her leg is lifted by some pulley system and it sways as she tries to wiggle. Suddenly the memory of what happened comes flooding back and Brittany begins fighting to sit up but Pierce has his hands on her shoulders keeping her back.

“Britt, please, don’t fight.” Whitney begs as Brittany begins to push back. Whitney begins to tear up at the sight and pleads, “Please, please.”

Brittany tires herself out quickly and softens under her dad’s strength. She stares at her leg and her heart breaks in two, “I ruined everything! I ruined it!”

“You’re going to be just fine, Brittany.” Pierce tells her sternly, “You’ll come back from this so much stronger.”

Brittany can’t find it in her to believe him though and she lays back further in the pillows, and let’s the exhaustion take her.

/

The next time she awakes the room is empty. It’s much darker than before and the only light that streams in is from the window. Brittany looks around, her vision still a little blurry, but she blinks and settles on the window. She sees Quinn first and it looks like she’s talking to someone who is sitting down. She thinks maybe it’s Beth, but then Quinn looks in through the window and finds Brittany staring back.

Her lips move but Brittany obviously can’t hear what she’s saying. She tilts her head as Quinn looks down again, wondering who she’s talking to.

Brittany soon gets her answer as Santana stands up.

Her breath quickens at the sight, but she remembers she’s meant to be mad at her even though there’s a tiny part of her that’s happy to see Santana is still around. There’s a small smile on her lips as she stares at Brittany through the window and Brittany finds herself smiling back.

Brittany can tell Santana feels guilty just by looking at her but when Quinn turns to the Latina, her face falls again. Quinn says something and Santana nods, eyes never leaving Brittany’s, before she looks to Quinn and nods again before walking away. Brittany feels the urge to go after her, but remembers her leg is strung up and she’s so medicated she probably wouldn’t make it that far.

“Hey Britt, how you doing?” Quinn greets as she enters the room, closing the door behind her.

“I’m okay.” Brittany answers then nods to the window, “What was going on out there?”

“Just some girl talk.” Quinn shrugs as she comes up to Brittany’s beside.

Brittany eyes her curiously, “Where did Santana go?”

“You’re not in any pain, right? Mama Pierce wants me to make sure,” Quinn asks, ignoring Brittany’s question, “Your parents went to pick Beth up for her ballet practice. She’s super excited.”

“Did you make her leave?” Brittany asks, growing impatient.

Quinn eyes her cautiously, “You think I’d do that?”

“I don’t know. You guys looked like you were talking about serious stuff..”

Quinn shakes her head and stands, “You shouldn’t worry.”

Brittany stares at her, trying to read her, but nothing.

Then there’s a knock on the door and Santana’s poking her head through as she slowly pushes the door open, “Can I come in?”

“Yeah.” Quinn says and Brittany watches quietly as she slides in.

Santana enters carrying a drink holder with three cups and a muffin balancing on top as another sits in the empty space in the holder. She’s still dressed in the same outfit as before when they were at Lucy Q’s, but she looks exhausted.

“Finally.” Quinn groans as Santana hands her a cup.

“Long line.” Is all Santana says, handing her a muffin too.

Quinn nods, meeting Brittany’s eyes for a moment before looking back to Santana, “Thanks.”

Santana keeps her distance, lingering in the shadows near the back counter. Quinn has a certain mischievous glint in her eyes and when she nods to Santana still shuffling around behind her, Brittany finally gets it.

“What did you do?” Brittany mouths in horror but Quinn just winks back.

“Well, I’ll leave you to it.” Quinn says aloud as she balances her muffin on the lid of her coffee cup. She comes around to kiss the top of Brittany’s head, “See you in a bit.”

Brittany’s confused and wants to say she needs to tell her what’s going on but she nods anyway. She watches as Quinn gives Santana a stern look before leaving.

Santana sighs and pulls a cup from the tray and picks up the other muffin with a couple paper towels.

“I got these for you,” Santana says as she sets them down on the little bedside table next to Brittany, “Hot chocolate and a blueberry muffin.”

Brittany feels her stomach grumble and she’s glad for the offering because she hadn’t even realized she was hungry. She can’t remember the last time she ate other than the jell-o cup but who knows how long ago that was. Then she thinks of how sweet Santana is for thinking to bring her something too.

“Thanks.” Brittany mumbles and starts to pick at the muffin while Santana sits the furthest away in the chair at the corner of the room. There’s so much to be said, but they sit in silence as Brittany nibbles at her muffin and Santana sips on her coffee, neither knowing where to begin. Brittany remembers how angry she was earlier, but she doesn’t feel like doing that all over again. She’s tired in more ways than one.

“So bright green, huh?” Santana points out, nodding to Brittany’s cast.

“Apparently I picked the color.” Brittany tells her after taking a bite of her muffin, “You’d think my parents would know better than to let me make decisions while I’m high as a kite. At least I’ll be noticeable.”

Santana chuckles, “I think you do that even without the cast.”

Brittany laughs too but then they lull into another silence. Neither make eye contact and the tension is so thick it can be cut in half.

“You feeling okay?” Santana asks tentatively, “I’m sure you’re tired of everyone asking, but I haven’t been able to ask you yet.”

Brittany nods, “Yeah, I’m okay. Maybe just a little tired. Not sure how, I feel like I’ve been doing nothing but sleeping here.”

“Oh, I can go if you’d like?” Santana asks and sits up like she’s ready to make a run for if Brittany wanted her to.

But Brittany just shakes her head, “You don’t have to. I don’t mind the company.”

“Okay,” Santana smiles and rests back in the chair, “I’ll stay then.”

/

“I’m so sorry, Brittany.” Santana exhales and the quiver in her voice makes Brittany look up. She looks so small, so fragile, but she repeats, “I’m so sorry.”

Brittany nods because she’s not sure if she’s referring to her knee or the kiss.

“I’m sorry for being distant this week and I know it’s not the best explanation, but I just had a lot going on and I couldn’t handle that while also processing what’s going on here.” Santana motions between her and Brittany, “Whatever this is. I just couldn’t handle the distraction.”

Brittany burns at the word, “Distraction?” It hurts and she takes a breath because she feels like she’s been kicked in the gut, “I wasn’t trying to distract you from anything.”

“I know,” Santana urges and she straightens up, “That’s not what I meant. I don’t know _what_ I meant. It’s just..” Santana pauses and runs her fingers through her hair, “I came back to Lima to focus on myself and really perfect my music and figure out who I wanted to be, to figure out the person I wanted the world to see. I came back to Lima to find myself without the bullshit in New York and LA, but it follows me no matter where I go.”

Brittany stares at Santana as her voice cracks even more. She’s confused as to what that has to do with her, but she lets her talk.

She looks like she could burst into tears at any moment, but she continues, “You want to know why I was so distant this past week? I was in New York. My father had sent for me and made me believe he just wanted to spend time with me, but it was all a joke. He didn’t want me there because he missed his daughter. He wanted me there because he missed the money I brought in; he missed my talent and what it did for the label. He bribed me with all the money and cars and swanky apartments just for me to come back. Isn’t that funny? My own dad..”

“Santana..” Brittany whimpers but Santana just shakes her head, tears begin to fall.

“I came to Lima because I wanted to better myself, you know? I didn’t want to be anything like my father or my mother, but instead I’ve followed right in their footsteps. I’m just like them, Brittany, and I hate it. I’m guarded and I close myself off to people that care about me and I push them away until I’m left with no one. On top of that, I can’t communicate for shit and I’m angry. I’m so fucking angry and I don’t know what to do with it all.”

Brittany wishes she could get up and give the girl a hug. Her heart breaks even more because if she thought she had problems, they’re nothing compared to Santana’s.

“You know why I ran off so fast that night we kissed?” Santana asks and Brittany doesn’t think she can handle the answer. “Because you scare me.”

Brittany wasn’t ready for that answer but she continues to listen anyway.

“I’ve never felt like this about anyone before and it scares that shit out of me. I’m sorry that I’ve made you feel..I don’t know, unwanted? I’m sorry for any confusion I’ve caused you. You’re just, you’re amazing. You’re so kind and carefree and just generally a good person and I got scared. I have…I have all these feelings,” Santana pauses and takes a shaky inhale before looking back up at Brittany, “Feelings for you, that I’m afraid of dealing with because I’m afraid of the consequences.”

Brittany is stunned and she blinks, too shocked for words.

“I don’t know how to do these things properly. All the relationships in my life have ended with me pushing the other away or vice versa, I’m just tired of being hurt,” Santana says with a shrug, “But you’re different, I can feel it, and I want to try really hard to make sure that this plays out differently..even though I’m kind of off to a bad start already.” Then Santana looks to her expectantly, almost pleading, “Please say something.”

“Come here.” Brittany tells her and Santana slowly closes the distance and sits on the stool next to her bed. She looks like a child that’s about to be scolded but Brittany just cradles her chin in her hand and guides her until their lips can collide once again.

It’s better than before, because it’s always better with feelings.

And Brittany feels so much for Santana and Santana has just confirmed that she feels so much for Brittany too. It makes her so overcome with joy and it’s not even because the drugs make her feel so good. She’s genuinely happy because Santana’s here and she likes her just as much as Brittany likes her and she’s kissing her back and it’s soft and gentle and everything she’s wanted since they kissed the first time.

When Santana pulls away, a dazed look in her eyes, Brittany smiles and runs her thumb along Santana’s jaw. She loves the newfound closeness and revels in the softness of her skin.

“you don’t need to be afraid” Brittany says honestly, “I won’t hurt you.”

She watches Santana gulp which makes her continue, “I’ll show you if you let me.”

“Okay.” Santana says timidly.

“You are an awesome person, Santana and you did is a complete idiot if he does’t see that.” Brittany watches as Santana frowns at his mention but she instantly kisses it away, “Thank you for telling me everything. It really means a lot. I’m sorry I didn’t know that’s what you were going through, I wouldn’t have snapped on you earlier.”

“Don’t be sorry, Britt, you had no idea.” Santana replied, nuzzling into Brittany’s touch, “I shouldn’t have shown up at Lucky q’s like that. I don’t know why I did, I knew you were upset with me. It wasn’t fair and then all this happened.” Santana waved to Brittany’s cast and shook her head, “If I hadn’t been there, maybe you wouldn’t have-“

“Stop.” Brittany hushed, “It was an accident. There’s no way you caused this. Okay? Don’t put that on yourself.”

“Okay.” Santana nodded and let Brittany nudge her into another kiss.

“Okay.” Brittany grinned; loving the fact that Santana was still there “I’m really happy you’re here.”

“Me too.” Santana pulled away slightly but she was still close enough that their lips brushed as she spoke “So what does that mean for us? What happens now?”

Brittany paused for a moment too and thought about the question. What did it mean for them? They have feelings for each other, it was clear now, but Santana was also clear about being afraid. She has a lot going on in her personal life revolving around her father and her career and it all seems so much bigger than them and their feelings. Brittany didn’t have a clear answer; she didn’t want to push Santana if she wasn’t ready especially if labels weren’t her thing.

Instead Brittany took a calming breath and shrugged, “Anything is possible.”


End file.
